nin137

Nick's Journal
2003-01-23 04:55:47 (UTC)

My Notion

No body asks Nick what his notion is. what does nick
think? why does nick think? who cares about nick? i
don't know, and i don't care, wellllllll, i do care that
i'm not asked. why doesn't somone ask me:
"nick what do you think of those pretentious fuck-nuts
sitting next to us in owens?"
and i'd say........why, they're just covering up their own
inscrutable urges to megalomania through non-chalant
generalizations over everybody around them.
"nick what do you think about our death penalty?"
thanks for asking my bitch-ass........fuck the
inequivocable inequality of racist, classist, sexist,
bullshit. who cares about the mal-distribution of a
penalty....it's not the penalty at the fault but the
distribution. fuck the effect of deterrence. you prove
ot me that it doesn't deter (which i know you can't, since
no amount of statistics can prove a causation without a
uniform constant variable) and i'll humbly strap myself
into the chair. you prove to me by showing that the
people "don't care about the consequence" (which is the
most sophmoric evidence against the death penalty), by
showing me that those who commit murder commit suicide
proportionally. then you'll prove that they "don't care"
about the ultimate penalty.
"nick what do you think about war?"
justify it to me. don't say.....we have to. show me the
people under the regime oppose it. show me its vileness
and all those ultra-liberals don't matter........liberals
(contrary to their popular belief) are not smarter just by
virtue of their "virtuous" task. they have to prove
themselves as much as conservatives are arraigned to. as
much as they'd have you believe liberals are not the
status quo, the only status quo is that there is none, and
that those that impose their visions must prove them.
"nick what do you think about vaginas?"
doesn't smell like fish.
"nick what do you think about pussy?"
see above.
"nick what causes insomnia, and how would you cure it?"
just a loss of yourself and the inexplicable exertation
you provide to find yourself causes your lack of sleep.
your search for a sanctuary in which you can reside. a
place where your thoughts are at peace, and your emotions
are at rest will bring you the peace needed to sleep.
when one part of you is torn away and your equilibrium is
interrupted you resort to all methods necessary to retain
your balance.....the easiest method is drugs....the
hardest is patience. that's really the anti-drug. not
taking the quick escape and waiting it out.
oh fuck it all. i think i should just go. it's not what
you think, but what you HAVE to show. shining when on
your knees you should be crawlin', and getting up when
you've fallen. not taking defeat as your only
resort......not having, "i give up" as your last retort.
it's what you learn from your mistake, that makes you
realize what really is at stake.