lilliana

lilliana
2001-09-14 20:12:50 (UTC)

Lily

It's okay if people don't like you. It's so okay. I just
realized this like, today. I spent so much precious energy
being 30 different personalities at once, so that I could
have a slight chance of being liked by all. All I was, was
fake...turns out people were behind my back, conversing
about how annoying I was. I wanted to be funny,I wanted to be
obnoxious, I wanted to be kind,I wanted to be loyal,I wanted to
please, I wanted to be mysterious...I wanted all these feelings
to be claimed by me. I just burned out...the weight of my
fronts crushed in my brain. So now, I sit w/ a numbness and
stay oblivious to what is being said of me, but I know now
it's okay. It's okay to let people spat out their hatred
for me. I'm me. As much as I hate the real me, I can't rid
me. I will ALWAYS be. Hell, that may be the the dulliest
line that I could think up, but who cares, right? I feel a
Linkin Park lyric coming along....

(bits of "A Place For My Head")

you try to take the best of me
go away
you try to take the best of me
go away
you try to take the best of me
go away
you try to take the best of me
GO AWAY!!!

I wanna be in another place
I hate when you say you don't understand
I wanna be in the energy
Not with the "enemy"
A place for my head...

- fin


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