Silent Eyes

Lost in this place
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2003-01-22 23:01:02 (UTC)

Life.... Everything seems to be..

Life.... Everything seems to be falling back into place
now, friends are taking their final strides for
independence, family bonds growing stronger, and
school...well school is school I have one truly amazing
teacher(history) and we talk philosophy all the time! He
loves to challenge the students to think and find out who
they are....Which is why I have embarked on this long
journey of truly understanding ME
For awhile I became very depressed, I pushed all those
I loved away from me, I was lost...I didn't know where to
go and I don't want to go back, it's not who I am. I have
three best friends that I believe will always be there
Paul, Nicole, and Matt. Nicole came to visit and things
weren't as great as she expected...I was already growing
upset with myself and pushing it onto others denying my own
reflection. We distanced for awhile Matt came to visit
about 2 months later, he asked how everything was many
nights I was upset or we would have long religios talks
that were so great. For anyone who believes in any form of
reincarnation(this kid has been around the block)
Nicole and I grew farther apart until late january which is
now 3 months later. We never really split just took a
break I suppose. Anyways things there were patched up.
Paul was an extreme influence on me. He made me see myself
as depressing and painful as it was... I put him through
alot we hated each other for awhile yet for some weird
reason we stayed beside one another... I was so thankful
that he helped me and I have been getting alot better
especially with how I view people and my friends, I look at
them with love...true love and sincerity and if for any
reason I feel hatred for them I look at why, most of the
times its just a reflection of what I don't like about
myself and I see it in them. This would normally anger
someone because they have expectations on their friends to
maintain balance and structure where they cannot. In
conclusion take a look at yourself before hating or being
angry with others, especially those you love...
~Silent Eyez