2001-09-14 13:37:04 (UTC)


Dear God,

This is the first day Im starting an online journal, I hope
I can keep up with it... I think diaries are good, helps
you to reflect on what you do while you are typing away...

I was sick yesterday, down with a sore throat, went to the
doc. and he said that I have a serious inflammation...
sigh, why do I always get sick?

You know, I emailed edmund on tuesday that I left his
pullover on his desk (I bought it for him in Victoria
Market, its a real nice one). He emailed me saying thanks!

And when I accidentally met him today in the white board (I
didn't did it on purpose), he actually turned around to see
me (cos I was behind him) cos I think he heard my voice..
he actually waited for a while to chat a little, at least
that is a good sign that he's not sick of me yet.

I asked him when he is going to fly to Sweden and he said
its cancelled due to the terrorist attacks on US on the 11-
09-01. The poor americans, it must have been a great shock
to them. I really hate Muslims, they killed so many
Christians in Indonesia, and now Osama is doing this bad
bombing. God, if the end of the world is coming, I hope I
will go up to Heaven. I know I have drifted away from you a
lot, but I still believe in you and I abhor Satan, he is
nothing in comparison than you. he will always be second to

Anyway, you know, even thou' I got back with Yong An (im
still considering), I hope God, you will help me out. I
like him, but my hearts like with edmund, I hope that one
day yong an will not like me anymore, in that way, I will
not have to feel any guilt anymore. This is really so
frustrating. I know edmund will never ever likes me, xin en
(another colleague of mine in DSO) is so pretty, gentle and
feminine. I pale in comparison to her. *sigh*

But Im always good and pretty in your eyes right? =)

Im only 20, young, tall, slim and not bad looking (hey, Im
serious!). I don't know what edmund wants, I thought I was
quite okay.... But I'll know I will continue to wait for
edmund, and continue knitting the scarf for him....

I hope he will take one good look at me one day ...