Nobody Loves Your Beautiful Garbage
2003-01-22 19:52:45 (UTC)

Violation of My Safe Space

Everyone has their safe place, or at least they should.
The one place where you can relax, feel at ease and just
be yourself and feel, well safe. My space was brutally
taken away from me this week.
If its not enough to have the wench rip me off 4-500 per
check cause she believe I owe her this, she violates the
only safe spot I have left in this entire fucking world.
Not to mention on top of that i get an email from k,
once again sayin she is sorry. Violated space by my bitch
of a mom and violated mail box by my bitch of an ex.

First thing is first....K i sent V an email to check my
diary page i have posted the last conversation we had on
Im here it is:

southerndiscom: hey
SammyySia: hey what

southerndiscom: did you read the email
SammyySia: maybe i did what of it

southerndiscom: im just wondering that is all
SammyySia: well for someone that doesnt want to make it
an issue with me your sure pushing it arent you

southerndiscom: im not pushing anything i just dont know
what to do to make you see im really sorry this time
SammyySia: like all the other times you werent sorry for
those right

southerndiscom: look i got out of control and im sorry
SammyySia: do i look like im some fucking three year old
that forgives and forgets this has been going on way to
long kym

southerndiscom: look im sorry, i do love you alot, i
made a huge mistake by leaving you, and i know that your
with someone else, but she has only known you for a couple
of months, i have known you for like two years sam
southerndiscom: we have a kid, and we have had all that
stuff together
southerndiscom: so as i see it, i love you and i mean
what i say
southerndiscom: she on the other hand, well i dont know
SammyySia: you have a funny way of showing that you love
me kym
and what about her on the other hand
southerndiscom: sam seriously do you really want to be
with someone that has no clue who they are , or if they
can even function in a relationship like an adult
SammyySia: look like you were all that adult like kym

southerndiscom: i made all the mistakes, well most of
them, but at least if veronica wasnt in the picture and we
were dating it be different this time around
SammyySia: how so, you only beat me where people wont
see the

southerndiscom: look that is not getting help
with that sam
southerndiscom: professional help
southerndiscom: i really want a second chance with you
and i think i should be at least considered
southerndiscom: we had two years and everything together
southerndiscom: you told me the day we broke up, to keep
the ring and if i ever wanted to come back home to you, i
could provided we were both single and stuff
southerndiscom: well im getting help with my problem and
i want to come home to you
SammyySia: kym im sorry but im with someone and i like
her, she may not love me, or be in love with me, but i do
want to give her a chance

SammyySia: im really happy with her, i am

southerndiscom: fine if it doesnt work out can we have a
second chance, provided i change and we are both single
SammyySia: i dont know, its going to work out between me
and jen i just know it is

southerndiscom: how in the hell can you be so sure
southerndiscom: she doesnt love you
southerndiscom: she never will
southerndiscom: so why dont you quit being a little butt
and just come home to me
southerndiscom: we can get math and all three of us can
be a family
southerndiscom: what you say
SammyySia: oh i fucking see how it is
know your all ready to take responsibility for math, math
is just a tool for you isnt he

southerndiscom: what the hell you mean by that sam
SammyySia: every fucking time you want something you use
my son to get it, that is right my son

southerndiscom: hold on a minute i didnt mean it that
SammyySia: no you listen to me this time kym

SammyySia: you wont change
SammyySia: people like you never change, you think you
have the right to go around using people for your
advantage anytime you want
SammyySia: you think you can smack me around and use me,
call me names and you only pay attention to math when he
is good for something, that benefits you and only you

SammyySia: if you ever use my son in that manner again
or sugguest it i will come hunt you down and kick the shit
out of you myself and i mean it kym

SammyySia: no one will stop me, ill put you in the
fucking ER room and no one will be able to save your sorry
ass from me

southerndiscom: knock it off sam your scarying me
southerndiscom: i dont like this side of you
southerndiscom: i really do love you and math
southerndiscom: im just scared of having a family and
southerndiscom: i dont mean to act the way i act
southerndiscom: really
southerndiscom: im getting help
SammyySia: do you understand me kym, you lay one more
hand on me during the term of our limited friendship, i
will beat you into submission, you know i can, you have
seen it
southerndiscom: yes
southerndiscom: i understand
southerndiscom: i just want you back
southerndiscom: and if i can only have you as a friend
at first fine
southerndiscom: but i will have you back with me
southerndiscom: so dont get all wrapped up in miss thang
SammyySia: her name is jen and i all ready am

southerndiscom: WHAT
SammyySia: you heard me
southerndiscom: sam look as a friend im telling you
beware okay, you get stepped on so much cause your nice
southerndiscom: i hate to see you get your heart broken
or worse
southerndiscom: if she doesnt love you at least a little
at this point she never will
SammyySia: you dont know that

southerndiscom: actually yes i do, even i loved you a
little when we first started going out
southerndiscom: i loved you all the way through to the
end and still do
southerndiscom: i found out to late, i was still in love
with you
SammyySia: really

southerndiscom: yeah that is why im getting help with my
problems and stuff so if we do get back together i can be
a decent mom and wife
SammyySia: kym i just dont think its going to happen
southerndiscom: i know and i hope for your hearts sake
it does work out with you two, but there is a small part
of me that hope it doesnt work out
SammyySia: we will see

southerndiscom: friends first...please..pookie
SammyySia: ok friends first

southerndiscom: yeah
southerndiscom: :-D
SammyySia: so what you been up too..omg do you know who
i work with at the boat
southerndiscom: i start classes for midstate next
semester and who do you work with pooks
SammyySia: i work with ricky and harry from the fox
southerndiscom: ricky omg how is he
SammyySia: he is fine he works days with harry

southerndiscom: i miss him
southerndiscom: we outta go out with him sometime the
old group you know
southerndiscom: harry and ricky and karla, and larry and
dan and nick and meagan
southerndiscom: i think its time everyone got back
together sam
SammyySia: yeah your right

SammyySia: but fucking dan and larry hate me and shit
southerndiscom: why
SammyySia: cause i moved out and shit

southerndiscom: i told you they be that way, you have
supported them for how long now
southerndiscom: i think over a year
southerndiscom: cause larry moved in with us in like
april right
SammyySia: yeah i think so
southerndiscom: so did you want to get everyone back
SammyySia: yeah i think its time we all got back to
where we were

southerndiscom: ok let me talk to them and shit if they
will even talk to me
southerndiscom: since i did what i did to you and stuff
southerndiscom: i miss you sam
SammyySia: i miss you too kym

SammyySia: as a friend

southerndiscom: i know , but i miss you more than a
southerndiscom: you honestly can say your not in love
with me anymore
SammyySia: can we not talk about this

southerndiscom: ok ok
southerndiscom: what is your new number and shit
SammyySia: 309 676-1056

SammyySia: i work really weird hours

southerndiscom: i know
southerndiscom: what you working this week
SammyySia: mon and thur and fri and sat i work 6-430 am

southerndiscom: damn that is alot of hours in the day
southerndiscom: did i tell you im back at apac
SammyySia: no you didnt which center

southerndiscom: canton
SammyySia: oh they wont let me back and shit
cause zack is a prick
southerndiscom: zack is getting sued and shit and also
going to be leaving'
southerndiscom: you should come back, just like old
southerndiscom: you want me to bring you lunch on the
days you work
SammyySia: maybe that be cool and shit

southerndiscom: okay what time is your lunch at nights
SammyySia: around midnight or so

southerndiscom: ok ill do that then
SammyySia: ok well i have to go i have stuff to do
southerndiscom: ok, talk to you later then
southerndiscom: i love you sam, and i miss you too
southerndiscom: see you monday night at around midnight
SammyySia: ok bye

Well there you go V, the only woman that will love you,
remember when you told me i was a rebound and meant
nothing, there all yours.

Next up to dear old mommy. You are a self centered, evil care nothing about your children unless they
have money to hand out to you. I'm sick and tired of you
telling my little sister im going get aids and die just
because i happen to be gay....fuck you, you damn loose bar
whore....its not my fault i was born and i will sleep in a
fucking car before you ever get another hand out from me

I just dont get what is wrong with you people, dont you
have anything better to do then fuck over people and take
there money time and time again?