Drowning in the Darkness...
Heil the Queen of the May, now is a season... now is a day.
Yesterday evening my bf came over to my house. We
watched some Immortal, Satyricon and Metallica
videos... We saw an video of a Metallica concert from
1985. In that video, James was 18 or 19 years old. He
sang like a boy, but sounded cool to me. That video is a
masterpiece: 1985, live with Cliff Burton.
Then, when we could get rid of my little sister, we
strated talking about our relationship: Here in Santiago,
where I live, there are lots of social differences. Im in
one of the "privileged" families and he is not. He has
been involved in drug commerce and just two or three
of my friends own pots. He´s left drugs about one year
ago and now he´s working in informatics. I don´t want
him to go back to where he was, because I know drugs
are bad for people... my father had to go to rehab after
he divorced from my mother. I don´t want to try drugs
because I´ve got genetic tendency to addiction (I started
smoking 1 year and a half ago and in this moment I
smoke 40 cigarretes a day). He´s done a great effort to
live that world behind and I wouldn´t like that effort to be
vane. I love him to be working and thinking in another
ways to spend his vacation... I love him so much :-)
It´s raining outside... I love rainy days but hate cold.
Im wairing my warmest Pj´s, socks and a sweater but
still I feel cold. I guess I´ll visit the jacuzzi later.
I´ve got a terrible stomach ache! Yesterday night I ate
a whole pakkage of cookies, and I´ve got gastritis so I
shouldn´t eat late night. Gosh I feel bad!
Today I´ve decided to read all of my books for a
second time. I´m gonna start with Zaratustra, it´s my
fave book. I guess Nietzche is wrong in some points:
being the best you can get to be will not necessary lead
you to Divine punishment. In fact, I believe that some
people are better than other because they are stronger
and that´s not bad at all because they are the ones who
will be able to survive in this difficult world that
surrounds us. God is just a sign: each person has to
choose which path to follow. In fact, I don´t like religion
at all and I hate rites and predication about Faith. I feel
I´m following the right path and I actually don´t visit the
Sinagogue weekly. I don´t like to share my Faith with
other people... Well, Im kind of an antisocial, I guess
that´s the explanation.
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