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2003-01-22 14:33:12 (UTC)

Kevin Smith...Kurt Cobain...I hope not

Before I go to far I’ll cop a guilty plea here. I think
there are a great many atrocities in the world today, but
tops among them is wasted talent.

I’m nearly ¾ of the way through with the Kurt Cobain diary
and I’m sickened. Just prior to the holidays, or as
retailers would have you refer to them the buying
season, “You Know You’re Right” ...the lost Nirvana song
surfaced. It was unmistakably Nirvana, but sounded as
current as anything on the radio today. That S.O.B. found
his rock and just kept rubbin’ at it till he liked the way
it shined. “Nevermind” was every bit as eye opening to me
as all the critics 20-20 hindsight proclaimed it, but he’s
gone...fuckin’ gone. He took himself away from us...and
from himself which seemed to be more the point he was
trying to make. What would we have gotten to hear? Would he
have had some Miles Davis magic left in his wand and change
the face of music again? Who knows. I hate that Courtney
gets a bit of the 12 silver pieces that changed hands in
the commerce for Kurt’s private thoughts. I hate that I’m
voyeuristic enough to have contributed to it, but the
fascination drew me into the flame. My only hope is
that Frances Bean can somehow benefit from the posthumous
invasion of her fathers privacy. But I digress...

Axl Rose...self indulgent knob. The joy that is the
creative process sometimes yields wonders that can only be
explained by the product of that process. Occasionally the
stars line up in just the right way and people come
together to produce things far greater than the sum of
their parts. Freddie Mercury called it the Miracle. I
believe this to be the case with Guns and Roses. Another
band that spun my head. What the hell happened here? When
does it change? When does the desire shift from the need
for an audience to the loathe of them. How do you take away
from the audience the very thing you assembled them for.
Selfish prick. The finality of Kurt's death left questions
and answers. Axl’s nonsense serves no answers and his
disregard for his audience leaves little question in my
mind as to whether he gives a shit or not. Get over your
self, call Slash and get it on!!!!

Eddie Van Halen is another case in point.I know that there
are some health issues involved but, for the love of God,
pick up the guitar. I say that figuratively because I’m
sure that there are untold volumes of music in the can that
he’s doing nothing with. It doesn’t have to be with Roth,
although I’d love it, but if you can’t stand the miserable
douchebag I understand (I'm sure there is much relief in
the Van Halen household now). Remember the audience. The
ones who go to the shows. The ones who get their asses
kicked by your security when they try to sneak backstage to
shake your hand.

My latest artistic hero is Kevin Smith. I love just about
everything the guy does.(never been a big Green Arrow fan)
I’ve never been all that intrigued by Directing, but he’s
made me think about the process and I have to admit to some
growing fascination. He’s poignant, hysterical, and a master of
dialogue . I bought “An Evening with Kevin Smith” and was blown away
by the guys ability to tell a story (rent it , buy it,
steal it...just see it). I know, I know, he’s a writer and
director , he should be able to tell a story. There are
many who can’t though. I was also blown away by his size.
My man has put on some serious weight and he smokes like a
Ford Pinto...frankly I’m a bit concerned for him. He makes
a shitload of self deprecating jokes in reference to his
weight, I think some of that is to disarm those who might
make light of his weight in their criticism of his work . I
recently read an article written by him in Arena magazine ,
on www.viewaskew.com, in which he addresses his weight
gain. It was the proverbial cry for help. He actually
encouraged people to remind him that he is “Morbidly
Obese”. I hate to see him eat and smoke himself into a
grave. He’s so fucking brilliant, and seems like a real
human being. So many other artists whoes work I respect
seem like cartoons (no disrespect to Bugs and company
either) or editorial rejects from a Harlequin Romance novel
(for KS fans...that was intentional) . He’s a sensitive,
funny mother fucker. I hope he can put the fuckin twinkies
away and live to a ripe old age. I’d like to see him stop
smoking too, but one thing at a time. The Heroin addicts I
used to work with could put the shit down for years at a
time but wouldn’t even think about leavin’ the butts
behind. Alot of wisdom came to me via those tortured souls,
including the phrase “Suicide by lay away”.

I hate to gush , but he's probably the only celeb I feel I
have anything in common with intellectually (maybe Howard
Stern as well). I've thought about dropping him a line, but
I'm not really the fan mail type of guy. I'd really dig
just sitting down, having a drink with him and bullshitting
about comics. LOL...I act like I'm in the minority here.
One of the reason he's as popular as he is is the fact that
he's so seemingly accessible and a regular guy. Well one
never knows.

The clock keeps ticking. I remind myself of that
constantly. I don’t delude myself to think that I can pitch
my talents in the same ballpark as the aforementioned, but
I better play ball soon. This diary is the beginning of
that process for me. I've got some ideas kicking around for
a book, script...something. I can't tell if they're all the
same piece of work or if they're all separate. What ever
the case it's time to get them on the page. I'm not quite
sure how deep the talent well is in me, but way better to
find out than to waste it .


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