It smells like poop over here
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2003-01-22 08:33:01 (UTC)

once again, the roof is on fire

i've been struggling for anything to say, any emotion or
feeling to get out...but i just don't have any. perhaps im
becoming a souless bastard, perhaps i always have been?
big fucked up weekend. me and joe went to state, laura
flipped out cause she's insane and kate drank a lil too
much and spent the night at the hospital. she's fine now,
but she has a golf ball in her eyebrow. lord knows how she
got that.
i was having a cigarette, joe and devon came down to
talk, and joe kissed her, then a lil bit later, i was
walking upstairs and i saw the two of them going up to the
3rd floor, where devon's room is. i felt like i just got
kicked in the heart, head and balls. so i disappeared.
everyone was "looking" for me again. i think that's a test
of mine, to see if they really care. i chilled by myself
watchig TV in the laundry room and shooting pool in the
lounge, which is where they found me. devon and joe didn't
do anything, unless he was lying to me. if so, ill fuckin
kill him. anyway, on the ride home, i was wearing mirrored
sunglasses, and devon kept looking at me....maybe because i
was lip syncing all the words, or better yet, she might
like me a little bit.
i feel like crap. just emotionally, which means i feel
nothing. which means, i can't sleep. i need to write
something to get my feelings out, but i dont' seem to
possess any, so im just ranting.
you know what would be really cool, if i could just stay
upt for like 4 days and write everythign i've ever wanted.
novels, poems, stories, scripts, plays, screenplays,
everything. i have so many ideas, but i dont' know where or
when or how to start. im gonna do that, but ill leave this
window open.
ok, that's not working and just making me frustrated,

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