AmericanIrishRose

I have not been back for a while.

I have a lot to write about this morning. First, Robert
and I broke up on New Year's Eve. He would not come in
from Streator to be with me. He had some lame excuse he
was not feeling well. He went driving around on New Year's
Eve though.

Then he had the nerve to tell me I took up a lot of his
time last June. The only reason why he stayed with me last
June is because he could not find any other girl.

He started to nic-pick about little things I do and say.
He said he could not accept my depression and mental
illness and he could not accept people with disabilties.

John died on December 3, 2002 and I miss him terribly. I
had to plan his funeral and all. I miss the one person who
really understood me. Frank tries so hard, but he just
does not understand why it is to be disabled.

Robert hurt me big time. I still love him so much. But if
he can not love me for What I am and Who I am. We don't
need to be lovers- friends. Then we don't need to see
each other if we don't.

There is Scott and Steve is back in my life. I hope one of
them work out .I think Scott is the better of my two
choices. Being Christian and he loves me for me and
understands depression. He is disabled too and has M.S.

My heart is broken though. I hope to be able to love
again but right now I am waiting to see.

American Irish Rose