Infiniterocker

hello kitty cat
2003-01-21 08:48:24 (UTC)

everything feels like rain

"as the snow melts outside
as the snow melts within
it's so hard to let this go
'cause the snow is in my veins
as my words fly like fists
across my front lawn
as day is long
I know"--zwan

I don't know how I feel about Zwan...so far they're
alright, but Billy's lyrical content has kinda gotten a
little bit pop-sappy-simple. Some of it is pretty
good...but...I can't say I really relate to most of it--
which was the case back in the day with the Pumpkins. So
either way...it's alright.

I just talked to Alex, I think Shonee is going to ride back
to Texas with me, hopefully by then I'll have some idea of
what's going on as far as apartments and roommates lol. I'm
ready for whatever may come though.

I again blew off a ton of people today, I just haven't felt
like going out lately. I totally blew off Kradj....and
PJ...blowing off Kradj had a lot to do with the fact that
he has feelings for me...and frankly I don't want to deal
with him. I told him how I feel---and how I'm in love--
whether that works out or not, my feelings are there with
Mike. Not much I can do about that. I can't stay here much
longer, everything is too insane--and the fact that all
this shit keeps popping up..like Sara randomly dropping me
from her insurance policy (the day taht I took my car to
get fixed...just as I finished all the paper work to get a
rentacar---they called to confirm the insurance and my
insurance agent responded with "Kelly was dropped off the
policy about an hour ago"...so I had to go back to the auto
place, pick up my car, take my Mom to the hospital..and
start ALL over again), and then me getting that ticket for
my headlight---I have to take care of that tomorrow
otherwise I get a $100 fine. I actually have to DRIVE to
the Ardmore PO PO.....and physically show them that my
light works..which I personally think is bullshit. I was
not permitted to have any other police dept. take care of
it..but Ardmore. I'm putting off completely fixing my car---
because I just need to get the hell out. But I finally
ended up getting insurance today. So that at least worked
out...I have to get a money order to pay off a parking
ticket and then I should be set. I'm just really eager to
get back to MY LIFE! I am even having problems painting..I
just hate not feeling safe. I'm hoping that will change
when I get the hell out of here. Chelsea is probably coming
down on Friday, we're going to see Boy Sets Fire
together..and then drive back up to her place --where I'm
going to stay until I can be POSITIVE that I will have a
place to live in Austin, or at least a plan, when I get
there. Shonee HOPEFULLY will drive back with me.....so that
should be cool to see him, and then in the end he can visit
Alex, which is really great. Those two are the perfect
couple. He's waited around 3 or 4 years for her to come
back to Brooklyn, and he's flow out to see her as much as
he can regardless of his job and what not. I've never seen
two people more in love. And Alex and Shonee are just
really great people. They're always there when I need help--
-it's just nice to know you have friends whom you can count
on. So I've decided I'm just not going to worry about
anything anymore, because things will work out either way,
and there is no sense in getting stressed out about it. So
that's it for now.


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