The First 9 Months of Our Lives
2001-09-13 14:12:50 (UTC)

Everyone Needs To READ THIS! PLEASE!

"In the City of God there will be a great thunder, two
brothers torn apart by chaos, while the fortress endures,
the great leader will succumb.", "The third big war will
begin when the big city is burning."

"on the 11th day of the 9 month that...two metal birds
would crash into two tall the new city...and
the world will end soon after" - Nostradamus 1654

OK....I just received that his morning--and if you notice
like I noticed...the quotes are, I still want
to get a direct copy of Nostradamus' vision of this--to see
what it says in between those quotes.

This morning when I was in the car taking my husband to
work...I jsut felt sooo condemned. That my life wasn't
much to be proud of....that God was tugging on me...begging
me to move forward in my walk with him. I was disappointed
in complacency...and in my relationship with
God. I have been so far away from the one thing that gives
me hope in life....My heavenly father....

I just sat there in the passengers seat and looked at my
husband and said "I suck!" "I'm so horrible!" "Why am I so
selfish--I don't pray hardly ever anymore, and I know I
love God--but my actions show soooo differently...." I
sighed hopelessly...and he said..."Your so condemning...."
I said "Well, I suck!" He said "OK....yeah....we've not
been really seeking God in our lives...but...your
condemning yourself instead of letting yourself
feel "convicted"." My husband and I have had many talks
about this because it is something that changed my life.

Walking in condmenation does nothing but keep you where you
are...."I suck, I'm never going to get any better"
realizing the difference between God's conviction compared
to his condemnation means a world of difference!!! God's
condemnation comes to those who have rejected the
end....but God's conviction is always there...tugging at
our hearts to be closer to him....better in everything we
do...Pulling us forever closer to him... It's what makes
us "wake up and smell the coffee". It forces us into

John got out of the car...and as I went around to the
drivers side...he grabbed me and hugged me. His hugs are
sooo incredible...I got into the car and started driving.
I put in Jennifer Knapp, a Christian singer, who I havn't
listened to in a long time. As she began to
heart was just flooded with I listened to her
words....(that I knew by heart).

I come into this place burning to receive your peace.
I come with my own chains,
from wars I've fought for my own selfish gain.
You're my God and my father, I've excepted your son.
But my soul feels so empty now, what have I become?
Lord come with your fires, burn my desires, refine me.
Lord, my will has deceived me, please come and free me.
refine me, refine me.
My heart can't see When I only look at me.
My soul can't hear, when I only think of my own fears.
they are gone in a moment, you're forever the same.
why did I look away from you.
How can I speak your name?
Lord, come with your fire burn my desires, refine me.
lord. my will has deceived me, please come and free me.
Come rescue this child for I long to be reconciled to you.
Refine me..All I can do is lift my heart and soul to you.
And pray oh I will pray..

Tears began to fill my eyes as I sang along...finding the
words so true and so familiar to my hearts cry to God. The
next song...was the following:

Just when I think I've got it, it's gone.
When I think I know the answer and I dare to raise my hand
it's wrong. Stop. stop. stop this foolish pride of mine.
that dares to drag me far away from you.
When I try to do it my way I always lose.
I always lose your point of view.
I don't have to be condemned.
Jesus saved me from the laws of sin.
If I fall I'll try again.
with the spirit as my guide
I'll never have to hide again.
I try to close my eyes like a child playing in a game of
hide and seek.
If I can not see the Lord than surely the Lord can not see
As if I could ever keep him from spying me.
All the plans of this man they're nothing more than evil
I don't have to be condemned.
Jesus saved me from the laws of sin.
If I fall I'll try again.
with the spirit as my guide
I'll never have to hide again.

I was having a hard time seeing the road as tears filled my
eyes....Everything within me seemed to be crying out---I
long to be close to God again! I long for that
relationship again! To know my heavenly Father! As that
song...played....I don't have to be condemned...Jesus saved
me from the laws of sin....I just busted out....and cried
out..."Please God....I need that! Please....I need you!
Do whatever you have to do! Forgive me for my
complacency! Clean out my heart!!! Move on me God ! I need
you! Please God--you are the only answer!"

I picked up the phone and called my Pastor back in Sherman,
Texas--I was on the verge of busting out and my voice was
shaking as I listened to the phone rang...oh yeah---It's

I hope they're up....Carolyn's voice--his wife answered--
"just as good if not better". "Carolyn, I was just up this
morning driving to work, listening to Jennifer Knapp..and I
just...I just...want you and Pastor Stan to be praying for
me...because I need a refreshing...I need a touch from
God..." I went on to explain my desperations....and the
thing I always remember and love the most about my Pastor
and his wife is...that when you ask to have them pray for
you....they don't hang up the phone and pray for you
later...they pray right then..

As Carolyn's prayer went up to God, and over the phone to
me....a wave of peace flooded my soul....She prayed for a
refreshing--a cleansing....and that God would be with
me...and move on me strongly today....She prayed for me
exactly what I had prayed before hand....My phone dropped
the call after the prayer--and I couldn't call her was mine and God's time then.....I cried

Once I got to work I was a wreck....I dried my eyes...came
marching in....ready...for....well, just ready. I stuck
Jennifer Knapp into the CD player int he computer--turned
it up unusually loud...(this morning I had grabbed my bible
on the way out...and now I know why). So, I'm sitting
here...and just praying and thinking...and a guy comes in
here and hands me the Nostradamus prediction---I talk to
him...and he starts talking about the Bible--then another
guy comes in and I show him the prediction and he starts
talking about Jesus!!! About how he thinks he's coming
back soon...that this is the season....that the bible talks

He said it scared him that the bible says that he will come
like a theif in the night...and no man shall know the day
nor the hour...but they will know the season. I told kinda scared me too....but God's grace is
sufficent as I laughed a little to myself. He smiled if he knew what I was talking about.

Someone came in and distracted us or I would have thought
we would have talked more...

I just want to throw this out there...please...if you used
to be Christian and your slacking--or you've just kind of
given up.....It's not worth it! Get back up--God is real
and so are his promises! He's got plan for your life--
don't be complacent and lukewarm....

OK....for those who have never been Christian--please just
think about. I don't feel like I should say anything else.

Thanks for reading and sharing in my life and struggles.

I leave you with this: (by Jennifer Knapp)

All the chizles I've dulled carving idols of stone...that
have crumbled like sand beneath the waves...I have
recklessly built all my dreams in the sand...just to watch
them all wash away...Thru another day..another
trial..another chance to one who sees past
all I've seen. And reaching out my weary hand I pray that
you'd're the only one who's faithful to me.

All the penny's I've wasted in my wishing well I've thrown
like stones to the sea. I have cast my lots...dropped my
guard...searched aimlessly for faith to be faithful to me.
Thru another day..another trial..another chance to one who sees past all I've seen. And reaching
out my weary hand I pray that you'd're the
only one who's faithful to me.

Your the only one that's faithful to me....Thank you God.