kaekay

Devestation

Terrorists hijacked 4 airplanes, crashed 2 into the twin
towers, 1 into the pentagon, and 1 into a field. Obviously
that wasn't it's destination. That's all the facts that i'm
going to say right now, because on every channel and radio
station people are saying different things. Basically people
at the white house know the correct thing that's going on
and they're not telling us everything so i feel like staying
ignorant and trying not to concoct a theory at the moment.
The only true fact i know is, i'm scared. not as much as
before, but i'm still scared. earlier today i was terrified.
this morning i was crying in class. it's been rough. I just
want everyone to pray. I know i will....
I'm trying to get away from the whole terrorist scene. that
may sound disrespectful for the people who are in new york
going through this, but i'm sorry. i have to watch the news
all day in all classes, and that's the only thing mom will
have on her t.v....frankly it's getting old. they're not
coming out with new information...they keep repeating the
same shit that i don't feel like hearing. so i'm going to
talk about what's been going on in my life.
people i like: Sean, Jimmy, Ryan.
people who like me: Rion, Jimmy, Ryan, David, Brandon,
Dale, Patrick, John, and Lewis.
I'm screwed. And i'm not bragging about all these people
liking me. I'm complaining. I didn't ask for this! too much
stress. here's the story on all this.
I like Sean. He's cute, a softmore, and wierd but i like
him all the same. He only likes me as a friend, and I'm cool
with that. Jimmy is Regina's ex boyfriend. Regina is a
snotty "i think i know everything" blonde (no offense to
anybody) bitch. He's also 18. We've been getting REALLY
close lately, and i know he plans on asking me out and he's
already told me he likes me. But I don't know what I'm going
to say. Ryan....he's still not talking to me. He smiles at
me alot today. We had to wear our uniforms in ROTC today and
i was having a little difficulty with my shoes, and i was
just messin around saying, "somebody needs to shine my shoes
for me." when i looked up he was lookin at me, and after
about 3 seconds of staring at each other's eyes, he told me
to come here and he shined them for me. he said a few words,
the usual hey, how are you...ect. nothing major. but it made
me happy all the same. later i went up to him and asked if
he was talking to me again or was this just a spur of the
moment dealio and he just smiled and walked off. later
tiffany willis (softmore in ROTC class who is now my new
best friend) told me that on the phone he told her that the
reason he didn't want to go out with her (she used to like
him) is that he still had feelings for me. So, she told him
that i still have feelings for him, and i'll find out what
he said tomorrow. probably nothing will happen because he's
still being a dumbass and not talking to me.
Rion is Sean's best friend. He likes me. I flirt with him a
little but i have made it clear to him that we are just
friends. thank god. he's seriously not my type. lewis is in
my science class. he's fat and ugly....but he's the class
clown....but i REALLY, REALLY REALLY REALLY don't like him.
David's in my ROTC class. We're friends. We flirt a lot and
i never knew he actually liked me till today. Regina (eww)
asked him and he said yeah, and that he'd go out with me if
he didn't have a girlfriend. i like him as a friend, but not
as a boyfriend. all the other guys are either in my rotc
class or eat lunch with me and i really don't like them.
I really don't know what I'm going to say to Jimmy when he
asks me out. I like him. He's not that attractive, but he
treats me so good, and he's so sweet. we act like we go out.
he puts his arms around me and we hold hands and hug... a
lot. but he's 18 and we'd have to keep the relationship away
from my mother (and you know how that goes) and bonnie and
pansy don't want me going out with him. Bonnie's a softmore
who rides my bus. She's really cool. We're pretty good
friends. She used to go out with Jimmy and she hates him
now, and she said if i go out with him, she'll kick my ass.
she knows he likes me but she doesn't know i like him. i
don't know. I'm just really fucking confused at the moment.