~*Why Does It Hurt So Bad?*~
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2001-09-12 20:21:59 (UTC)

A New Beginning

well, where can i start? lets start on saturday. i went
to a game then to mcdz to see talio bc i knew he was
working. so i went in to see him and jordyn says to me, 'y
r u always paging norman?' and so then i said, 'whats it to
ya?' and then she said, 'oh, im just curious.' and i
said, 'well, i didnt care if u were curious, i wanted to
know y u wanted to know' and then she shut up. owell. so
then i asked natalio y he was goin and tellin everyone my
buisness and repeating our conversations. he said that he
didnt. whatever. so i told him to call me when he got
home. and he did. he said he was bored, and i said i was
too. so i asked him if he wanted to go do something and he
said like what. so i said like go to the mall or the
movies or something and he said sure. so we decided to go
to the mall. we were having fun. then he goes outside to
smoke. and he gets that look that he gets...the deep
mysterious look...opens his hand, and says, 'commere' (come
here) and then he kisses was the second best kiss
ever. i knew it was going to happen all over again, too,
and i let it happen. gawd! im so stupid! so i got out of
it and i said, 'friends dont do this...friends dont kiss,
besides, were too different, remember?' and he said, 'i
want u back' damn. i dunno about that only got
more and more then we go
back to my house ( :) ) and then shit starts to happen.
we start makin out, and then the next thing i know, hes
layin on top of me. i couldnt do it anymore. i couldnt
just sit there and pretend that this didnt bother me. i
was used to being single. i was used to not being kissed
everyday. i still hoo...the main thing was that i
couldnt pretend that i was never hurt. we were together,
then he broke up with me bc he had to 'think about us' then
we go along as friends, and then a month later, he all of a
sudden picks me back up, and expects me to fuck him that
night? i know he doesnt expect me to do anything, bc hes
not like that, but still...if i had let him, i wouldnt be a
virgin now. so i talked to him and i told him how much it
bugged me. he understands (i hope) i asked him y he
wanted to get back with me, and he said that he needed me.
i hope to god that thats the gods honest truth. i hope,
and i pray.

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