A little drop in a great big sea
2001-09-12 18:03:06 (UTC)

Getting worse

Just when things start to get better, they have to go ahead
and get worse again, don't they? Yesterday Brian came home
from work and I was determined to maintain a stable mood
and not jump down his throat for every little thing. It
started out great, we ended up having sex in the bathroom,
immediately after which I did it again. I sensed that it
wasn't really that good for him this time, I just had this
feeling and besides that he didn't have ANY enthusiasm for
it, it seemed more like we were just going through the
motions. I got a lukewarm response when I asked him about
it, which caused me to storm out of the bathroom crying.
He went to bed without me. Well, I talked to my friend
Daniyal on the phone yesterday. Why did I think he lived
in Manhattan? He lives in Long Island, and he's okay.
He's this guy from Pakistan that I met online almost a year
ago, I've never met him in person but we've stayed on the
phone together for 6 hours at a time! That is NOT an
exaggeration. Anyway, he's coming to visit on the 27th and
come party with his Michigan friends. I've already blocked
it out on my calendar. So THAT lifted my spirits a little,
and then I went to bed, and woke up this morning wasting NO
time to get right to it. You have to understand, Brian and
I have sex 2-4 times EVERY DAY, and I've never refused
him. Not only that, but I take every little tiny thing as
an insult against myself, and this morning was no
different. The stupid jerk was masturbating in the
bathroom! What the hell does he need to do that for?
Apparently I'm not satisfying him, SO I've decided that he
can go ahead and have his hand as much as he wants to
because I'M not putting out. I signed on his name
(accidentally) on AOL instant messenger, and there are all
this CHICKS on his list. So, I went into a couple of chat
rooms and added just as many guys to my list. He had this
stupid Britney Spears posters on his wall, so I went and
got some hot guy named Colin Egglesworth and plastered him
right in the middle of my wall. He was on the 2-way with
some GIRL, so I got on MY 2-way with some guy I met at a
bar. In case you can't tell, my MO is revenge. It's the
only way to teach him, I think. BUT it kind of bit me in
the ass. *sigh* I'll save that story for another entry.