cherry-my-heart

pinkable
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2003-01-19 00:40:02 (UTC)

Depressed...

Hi guys.. geez, I haven't been so depressed before... hmm
it's been a few days... and finals are coming up... great?
I just realized that I have major papers for classes due
soon.. I finished all my college applications, finally.. I
doubt I'll get in, and it is realistic. I feel really bad
about wasting all my time and my parents money, and I am
too stupid to get into any college. Let's face it... I am
busting my hump trying to study for pre-calculus, I'm a
senior and there is a freshman in my class that has an A..
I have a C... I am praying that I still have a C after the
final... I'm studying my ass off. I seriously felt like
crying all day yesterday, I really feel that I can't handle
any of my coursework. Sadly, I'm going to drop my precal
class and take it in college... dumbville, right? I dunno,
I just think my parents are deeply dissapointed in me. The
feelings of trying and never getting there feels awful. And
on top of that, the person I liked, I really don;t know
what to think of him anymore. Hmm.. If I don't get into the
colleges they want me to, I am going to be disheartened.
Well, atleast at community college I can transfer. Maybe
it's good to start off on the bottom? Ok, well I'm trying
my hardest.. I better keep studying for my precal final. I
hope I get hit with the smart stick soon. How the hell am I
ever going to make it in college? On the other hand, my
brother is so much smarter than me... I'm like the black
sheep of the family or something... I really need to get
some fresh air.


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