Hannah Rose Cherry

Hannah's Screwed life(go figure)
2003-01-18 01:51:13 (UTC)

Burning is in

Yea well ive been burning myself l8tely, i figure it's
better than cutting becuase i'm not bleeding, i'm just
scared that my mom will see. I really dont belong in Slygo,
i never did, i should have stayed in JDS. i fit in better
there, i had more friends, i was poular. but here at slygo
sure i have friends and all but it's nothin really when
more than half the grade hates you and taunts you and
disses you right to youre face. at least the friends i have
there are good ones. I have a swim meet tomorrow and i know
i'm going to do badly becuase i havent been at practice too
much, i'm out of shape. i dont kno why but for some reasone
i'm always like sick in some way. i never get any sleep so
i'm always exausted, i'm always hurting my muscles wether
it's my shoulder or my leg or who knowes what, and i'm so
sick to my stomach most of the time. i think or see food
and i feel like i need to throw up. frankly i havent been
to happy l8tely, i thought for a while i was getting
better, becuase i havent smoked in 3 months about now. all
my friends are happy that i havent been, but i have 2
ciggaretts in my room that Brian gave my and i wanna smoke
them soooo bad. my friend Barry says he's gonna start
growin weed and he'd give me some for free, i want some so
bad, i need something, I'm sick or twitching so much so i'm
not gonna bother with the caffein pills or any pills for
that matter. I just feel....Burnt out! but i'm fucking 13
years old this is crazy. My mom thinks it's all in my head,
but when i have fucking racoon eyes from not sleeping and
i'm loosing wiehgt from feeling too nausiouse to eat all
the time theres gt be something wrong. ive lost 5lb and as
happy as i am it dont make sense, i havent been swimming
too much, as much as a try to eat it makes me feel so sick
and i dont know why. I just lie awake in bed thinking about
nothin, listening to the 2 voices in my head. I'm not even
going to describe what my piriod has been like....i'll just
say this...I had to stay home from school today i felt so
terrible. I"m so tired, but i cant sleep. I want to talk to
Nolan so badly right now but he's not home i tried calling
him, i just want to be with him right now.

Metallica-"Enter Sandman"