nin137

Nick's Journal
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2001-09-12 03:41:24 (UTC)

September 11th, 2001

How do you begin to describe something that symbolizes the
end of everything? I wake up at 11:30 to Keith rushing
into my room telling me that the pentagon and wtc were
attacked. I still remember watching it but not really
seeing it.....or should I say, seeing into it. It's so
surrealistic. I thought that I would just let it pass,
crack my usual completely ass-holish cynical jokes, but now
I don't know what to think.
I would like to tell you about how beautiful today was.
When I came out of the gym from running and had the warm
sun and cool breezes fly through my hair and beat upon my
back. I want to tell you about when I sat under the shady
tree with Dave engulfing myself in the lovely feeling of a
carcinogen, talking about the "events", or I should
admit.....joking about the "events". I'd rather talk about
how me, luke, ryan, keith, juliann, and amye tried to go
see Natural Bridge, and how we never made it because
Juliann's car broke down. How we sat on the hill
overlooking the highway 81 joking and feeling the light
delightfullness of our lives. The ride back in the pickup
truck with Juliann and the gibberish that the auto mechanic
talked. I'd rather make fun of the Game Warden that was at
the gas station, and how I joked that he had just
arrested "Scrabble" for being too provocative........but I
can't. Trying to not think about everything and just
leading a simple life is tough.
Instead I sit here with nothing on my mind but who that
person is that prophesized the slaughter online. How it
could have prevented but most of all whether or not I'm
truly happy, and what more I want to do with myself.
Nostradamus does not concern me. In my opinion
his "prophecies" are nothing.....the person that
prophesized the attack online means nothing. So it's Satan
testing us? Seeing if we're dumb enough to retaliate?
Seeing if we're dumb enough to stand up for ourselves?
Seeing if we're dumb enough to for once help ourselves?
"if God doesn't exist, then man created Satan......and
apparently he created HIM in HIS own image" i think that
quote sums it up. We are only testing ourselves. but you
know what? i really don't care for that....I'd much rather
lead a simple life in which my worst worry is my computer.
---- this whole thing reminds me of the best article ever
written. it was in the "Times" in reference to the Person
of the Century (as you may know Einstein won). Anyhow this
article addressed as to why Hitler was not named Person of
the Century. very simply it stated - "Hitler would be a
measure of hatred, Einstein one of achievement.....with
which would you like to judge our century", in other words
don't make such a big deal about this it's not a highlight
in our century but a dark corridor through which we run to
get to the light on the other side.
---- and simply my own thoughts.....i wonder if i should
do what i have always wanted to......i wonder if juliann
knows what i'm referring to ;-).
---- and lastly all my condolences to those that
appreciate them.....and don't worry.....apparently Abbie
won't let the world end on her shift :-) and that's all the
assurance i need.


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