Jess_Mull

Nowhere man please listen. . . .
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2003-01-17 22:28:26 (UTC)

January 17, 2003

I found out wat the whole mysterious Matt ordeal was.

I found out that he's startin to be cool again with
his ex girlfriend, who is this like really freaky freshman
girl. Well i guess she got mad at some girl on the
cheerleading team so Matt must've have given her the idea
to kill her- or harm her in some way. So Matt gave her a
knife, and being the retarded freshman that she is- she
started showing it off to her gay freshman friends.
Sooooo one of her friends ratted her out n they BOTH got
suspended.

Dumb fucks. The both of them.

He just depresses me so much. Pulling a stunt like
this makes me wants give up on him. Or maybe it's now
processing that maybe he doesn't like me. He likes that
gay freshman. She's so lame n so ugly- AND I HATE HER!

She's a goth-and a cheerleader! Well Siobhan is a
cheerleader too and she told me that she (her name is
Kaitie i believe) well, kaity n one of her bogus friends
have this totally GAY llama dance. Llama dance? Wat the
fuck. Well i'm glad to here that at least she's graduated
from kindergarten!

OH wait- she hasn't!

So Matt stays after school like every wednesday (please
don't ask why, cuz i DON'T know) and Siobhan told me that
they were all all over each other, flirtin with each other-
it makes me sick! That girl is DIRTY! She wears the same
sweatshirt like EVERYday, and her hair is SO greasy and
gross- and she's shorter than ME! And she's just so
immature. Ugh- i got myself started again.

Well my point was that they USE to go out but she broke
up with him for his best friend. And he was mad at the
both of them ger a while. He's suppose to hate her! But
Siobhan told me that on wednesday they whent into some
emty classroom, and they were GONNA hook up or somethin
but Siobhan followed them and sat there all by herself to
make sure they didn't do anything.

Siobhan really is my BFF.

But Ashley Hill asked him about it, she was like- I
thought you hated her? And he told her - "I can't help my
emotions. . ." What BULLSHIT!! Can't help my emotions.
See? that just proves that deep down Matt IS looking fer
love. Like REAL love. But I can tell you right now he
will not find it with that gay lil freshman.

What I'm trying to get at is I guess I just wanted (no-
scratch that STILL want) him to like me.

But I don't know why. I guess it's expected to hurt
when you like someone but they don't like you back. I
tried so hard, but now I just wanna give up. Ferget all
of that, I shouldn't put myself into that shit. I should
stay away from him, and just ferget about him.

Too bad it's easier said than done.

I'm sure it'll be easy to give him a break now that
he's suspended fer a while, you know that I won't see him
around, and he'll have no interest in talking to me.

HA! and to put on top of this- something else has gone
TERRIBLY WRONG!! Me= going to be a CIT (conceler in
training)at my sailing camp. BUT, sumthin got fucked up
and a bunch of other concelers are NOT coming back and I'm
SO upset. I cannot express my frustration right now other
than to go : dflgmfglkjbf kjfk,j nknx;ln!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It sucks so bad, and I'm so pissed. Lizzy was going to
be the CIT director- aka TEACHING ME TO BE THE BEST DAMN
COUNCELER EVER. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I hate it! It
sux it sux it sux it sux it sux IT SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!

Damn you world! Why must you be so complicated?!?!?!?!


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