firstofmylastdays

young and hopeless
2003-01-17 18:08:29 (UTC)

rantings

i tried to post this on my other diary-but alas,nope
..i think i'm lonely. and i really shouldnt be,i have
friends and people who care and all that,distant and not.
sure the close ones dont know me as well-but it takes time.

but there's still something missing.not a i-hate-life-and-want-to-die
thing,just that i want more...and i know what it is.
that other kind of love we all look for till we're tired of
it or we find it. and that sounds a little dumb,because i do
have micahia. she's not too talkative sometimes lately..or
here. but hey,it's midterm time. no big deal
it just feels like..i want that here,and with her. i have no
intention of leaving her. but when something makes me
dream..strongly,and remember it. i know it's something
important to me.
those stupid things we take for granted like kisses before
second period and such. my dream..projected these ideas onto
a friend. who,while i like alot,i dont think im interested
in (im very futile with crushes)..in this dream,i could even
feel that swelling of my chest of nervousness and longing.

oh well,this has no point. i just hope to experience that
stuff soon


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