Ad 0:
2003-01-17 04:38:34 (UTC)

too many times to count

my ex starts talking to me online. nothing unusual about
that, we have been able to stand each other lately.
basically to the point of we wanted to do some serious
fooling around. now, she isnt any ordinary ex. shes a first
love, first best friend, first for lots and lots of things.
went out with her off and on for over a year. she still
knows me better than anyone else. which i hope stays like
that, i dont think i could stand 2 people acting like she
does. because we start talking, she starts to want
something again. i dont anymore.. im threw. i cried before,
i hurt before, i felt more alone and bitter than a lot ever
have. im too caring the psychologist said, i think its just
because i analyze everything... so it starts to get to me.
damn, i hate my sister to. i wish i could rip off her face
so she couldnt speak anymore. her ignorance drives me
insane! back to the ex... so she starts asking me about
what we are gonna do, and like everytime before(in the past
3 months)... i tell her im going to back off, she starts to
accuse me of running, i throw it in her face that she is
the one trying to make things happen. and wont just leave
things alone. she swears she will never speak to me again,
well to be technical, she'll call her mother who she hates
with a passion before she calls me. oh yeah, 2 weeks ago
she said she was over me...? damn nuts, im tired of drama..
its so damn hormonal, maybe its that time of the month for
her, or maybe it is just because she is fucked in the head.
as am i... im tired again, always tired of this shit with
her. where am i gonna go. no one knows... know one will
ever know me.