BeautyFiend

The void
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2003-01-16 22:16:13 (UTC)

Annie Lennox-Why

HIya, i'm listening to the most meaningful, beautiful song
ever written...Annie Lennox-Why

Let's go down to the waters edge,
and cast away those doubts.
some things are better left unsaid,
but they still turn me inside out.

see? great verse there.
hmmm..just wondering if my boyfriends going to ring me
tonight, i'm getting increasingly worried about his phone
bill!
well, college was a bit wierd today, lots of people talking
about two guys from the alley getting arrested,me being
left out as usual and having to put up with skye n joe
eaing each others faces!i'm happy for them, i really am,
but pleeaasseee have some consideration, it's not a pretty
sight!i saw that cute goth girlie again.man, she's so
pretty.
once again i'm playing my usual role of agony aunt to the
needy.bloody hell i dunno...i need help with my love life,
help me i'm suicidal, i can't stop cutting myself,iv'e just
started my periods, i'm stoned and confused,i hate my
parents etc... the list goes on. you name it i can prob
sort it out...and i fucking hate it.it's not like i don't
care about my friends or the people i give advice to, but i
sometimes need someone to talk to and none of them ever
want to know then.guess i'm just here to be there for other
people and listen to them ramble on about how their lives
are shitter than everyone elses. why do people say that? "
my lifes shit" no it fucking well isn't. no matter how shit
you think your life is...there is always someone worse off
than you,always.
i have had my fair share of self-pity and fuck is it ugly,
i have never seen myself in such a pathetic state and i
hope i never will again.i got stuck in it, lost most of
my 'friends'. at the time i thought they were friends but
now i realise they wern't were they? they turned their
backs on me and left me when i needed them the most. they
knew what i was going through in school with the bullying
and my own self -hate but they chose to carry on with their
happy joy joy lives. i guess shit happens to the best of us
and we gotta forget it and carry on. which is what i did. i
hope.
ok ok i'll admit, i've been in a rotten mood all fucking
day and i have no idea why.once again people were asking if
i was ok and i just told them to fuck off because it's not
like they care anyway. why am i like this? i just confuse
myself! i swear i need therapy.
i was so bored and pissed off in lessons today i text my
m8 'Evil noodle' (don't ask) prob annoyed the hell out of
him too like i do everyone else! well it seems we are both
in the same boat, with friends and life in general.he's a
good mate, i like talking to him, can't understand why
people treat him badly either.
kt's a good mate too, she's there when i need her, not to
give advice or anything, just to make me laugh, she's just
funny!(and pretty)
Dave, my ex boyfriend (together for 5 months)He's
brilliant.again there for me, just listens and i try to do
the same for him.i care about him alot and hope we never
lose touch.
Skye, my best friend in the whole world.she's everything
anyone could ever hope for in a best
friend.trusting,honest,makes me laugh, listens to me, helps
me in difficult situations, kind, thoughtful. a real star.
i love all my friends to bits, that's why i'd never leave
them when they need me.
guess i'd better go offline soon.might be expecting a phone
call.
this is the book i never read
these are the words i never said
this is the path i'll never tread
these are the dreams i'll dream instead
this is the joy that's seldom spread
these are the tears
the tears we shed
this is the fear
this is the dread
these are the contents of my head. and these are the years
that we have spent
and this is what they represent
and this is how i feel
do you know how i feel?



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