bluemoon

The crazy world of me
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2003-01-16 12:59:07 (UTC)

2003-01-05 03:42:43

2003-01-05 03:42:43
Last night was a great night but it was also a shitty one.
I finally got to go to another basketball game since I
didn’t have to work. Which is awesome because
basketball
is the game. But anyway not only that my friends Aaron and
Shawn came out and I haven’t seen them in like 3
months. I
missed them so much so I am so happy they came out. We all
hung out acting crazy and all that good stuff. So later
that night at like 12 we went to this kid Jeff's house
where he comes out with this cleaning shit and throws it
all over Joni's car to get back at us for what we did
earlier that night. It was so funny. Well Joni was suppose
to be home at 12 so she was running kind of late and they
wanted a ride somewhere and we couldn't bring them because
we had to run Jenna home and stuff. Well, Joni just went
home and left a note saying she was staying at my house
because she wanted to go wash her car because that cleaning
shit smelt so bad. Well after we went to the car wash
which was kinda funny because it is freezing balls outside
we were headed back to my house when we saw Jeff, Jamie and
Ricky all walking so us being the nice people we are went
and picked them up. So when we dropped Ricky off he said
bye to everyone but me so I don't know what that is all
about. Also that night at the game I said hi to him and
introduced him to Aaron and Shawn because he has never met
them and I think he wanted to know who Aaron was and that
all he said to me. And then he was all quiet not talking
to anyone. I was like okay but I wasn't going to sit there
and ruin my night like I did before just because he was in
a pissy mood. So I had my fun and then I got in a pissy
mood. Well, Aaron called me but Joni and Jeff were at my
house still because Jeff couldn't go home so he had to stay
the night so I didn't really get to talk to him. But I
started talking to him about Ricky and it just made me cry
so I had to get off the phone with him. I wasn't crying
just over
Ricky though because I don't cry that hard over a boy. I
think it
was just all built up. Well, I went into the bathroom and
just sat
there thinking of what to do. So I did the most
hypocritical thing
that I could ever do and that was cut myself. I know of
two people
who do that and I always am so hard on them about it but I
figured
hey if it makes them feel better maybe it will me. I will
admit I
didn't think about my problem after that because I was to
busy
worrying about my cut leg. I can't believe I did that.
That is just
not like me. It was a feeling like someone took over my
body for
those few minutes. Crazy stuff let me tell ya. I will
never do
something like that again. I don't think though last night
that all
the tears were over my leg and Ricky. I think there has
been so much
in me that I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I rarely
cry so
when I do it must be because it all got just to be too
much. Then I
went upstairs and thought I could drink my problems away
but then
realized I can't so I was like screw that. So we went to
Taco Bell
because Jeff was hungry and there were some crazy bitches
behind us
yelling at the guy in front of us. It was hilarious
because Joni
started yelling and then Jeff and I did too. Those girls
were
getting on our nerves and I had a headache. So we finally
came home and Jeff and I decided we were going to pull a
all nighter. Which didn't happen I almost fell asleep so I
think he thought I was sleeping and went to bed so at like
5 I went up stairs and fell asleep on my couch because it
was kind of hot with three people on that bed. So then I
woke up really early so pretty much all night tonight I
have been sleeping. Hoping that maybe Ricky will get out
of his moods or something and call or e-mail me but you
know whatever. I so just want to say forget him but for
some reason I can't. I always say I am going to leave him
alone but I never do. AAAAAhhhhh why cant I let go of
him??????Sometimes I wish that the kid never entered
my life at all then I wouldnt have these feelings and shit
but I know I really am glad that he entered my life in some
way or another. But I am going to go Bye peeps


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