bluemoon

The crazy world of me
2003-01-16 12:55:26 (UTC)

2003-01-02 00:41:52

2003-01-02 00:41:52
Okay so the story between Ricky and myself is that last
school year I started liking this kid a lot. He was new to
the school and stuff. So I told him how I felt and he said
something along the lines as its not that I don't like you
its just I don't want a girlfriend right now because I am
new and I want to get to know people and stuff.
So that was fine and all and I was like okay. So over
the summer I pretty much got over him for the most part
because I didn't see him all summer and all.
Yeah so then we started to talk a lot more and stuff.
Because one day he was like feeling down or something and
he wouldn't tell me what was wrong so I wrote him a note
saying that I didn't know if he had anyone to talk to but
if he needed someone that I would listen and all that good
stuff. So thats kind of why we started talking because he
did need someone to talk to or whatever.
So one day he came over to my house and he kissed me and I
was like okay. I felt really bad because I kept pulling
away from him. Its not that I didn't want to kiss him
because at this point I was liking him again but I didn't
understand what everything was all about. So I asked
because well it was driving me crazy. So he tells me he
likes me and stuff but he doesn't want a relationship.
Well, I was like okay because truthfully I didn't know if I
wanted one or not either. And I figured that if I couldn't
have him as a boyfriend then friends was fine for me.
Well, I say thats the case but really I am not sure what
I want
because one minute I am like I am not screwing with him
anymore
because yeah I don't want to then I am like you know I
don't really
want a relationship with anyone so I will just mess with
the kid or
whatever. I really just want to keep him as a friend
because for
some reason that I don't know regardless if I am bmad at
him or not I
am happy when I talk to him or am with him. Plus hey he's
not bad if
you know what I mean.
Not to long ago he was walking down the hall with this
girl holding hands with her and it just tore me up to see
that. I hated him for a minute but then I was like you
know what I have no reason what so ever to get mad its not
like we are going out. But it hurts to see that.
I really do want to stay friends with him but it just
seems like he wants me around whenever he needs someone to
talk to or whatever. I let him know that I was thinking
that and he said that hurt that I would think that but
thats not my fault that I have those kind of feelings
especially when I go over to his house or he comes to mine
we mess around and then it seems like he dont want to talk
to me until the next weekend or whatever.
So then he tells me thats not how it is going to be any
more and
that he wants things to change between him and I. That he
don't want
it to be him and I messing around then not talking and all
that crap. But you know what actions speak louder than
words. And there pretty much hasn't been any actions to
back his words up.
It seems like I am the one calling him and him having
some tone of voice like I don't want to talk to you. So I
say I am
not going to call him anymore unless he calls me and I am
returning
the call or some good stuff like that but thats not going
to happen I
can't help but call the kid for some reason. Well there is
so much
more to this but I will have to tell you later because this
is
getting kind of long.


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