hello kitty cat
2003-01-16 10:48:10 (UTC)

reaching through the noise

SO things have been coming together. I'm going to go back
to Austin in a week or so. I've just realized so many
things since I have been here. I'm thankful for everything
that has happened. Even the whole me and Jason fiasco. It
taught me what not to do in a relationship, or rather, what
not to put up with. It's really sad, Jason to this day
believes I cheated on him. But then I thought about that
also, and I have come to the conclusion--if he wants to
believe that I cheated on him, then let him. It obviously
validates me leaving him in a way where he doesn't have to
blame himself for his actions or just the fact that we
didn't make each other better people-period. I really wish
he would have chosen to look at it as an experience to
grow, but either way it's OK. Everyone chooses their life--
their direction. You create your own reality. I'm really
glad to move on, I've reconnected with old friends, and
just gave myself a chance to figure out what really was
important to me. And-I'm lucky enough to have found Mike.
Who would have known that'd I'd be able to fall like this.
I've never had anyone treat me better (:. Chelsea is coming
from Washington, DC this weekend, so that will be cool.
I'll get to catch up with her, show her Philadelphia and
let her meet my friends---both old and new. My Mom has an
appointment tomorrow to see a doctor, so we'll finally
figure out what's going on with her...hopefully she'll get
some medication for all the pain she's going through. I
hope that since I'm not taking that job at Wonderland
they'll hire would have been a fucking cool job
too. $8.50 an hour to sit around and listen to music---no
dress-code no nothing. I'm sure I'll find something else
though when I get back to Austin. Hmm...I probably should
try and get some sleep..since I should be waking up in
about 5 hours....!

Age Of Innocence -Machina-Smashing Pumpkins

We dismiss the back roads
To ride these streets unafraid
Resigned to scraping paint
From our bones unashamed
No more the eye upon you
No more the simple man
Desolation yes hesitation no
Desolation yes hesitation no
As you might have guessed all is never shown
Desolation yes hesitation no
And in my prayers I dream alone
A silent speech to deaf ear
If you want love you must be love
But if you bleed love you will die loved
No more the lie upon you
Cast into stone and autumn shade
Desolation yes hesitation no
Desolation yes hesitation no
As you might have sensed we won't make it home
Desolation yes hesitation no
Before the rites of spring - Come to mean all things
A little taste of what may come - A mere glimpse of what
has gone
Cause for the moment we are free - We seek to bind our
Too young to die too rich to care too fucked to swear that
I was there