lilith.

dedoubledidentifiedschizophrenia~
2001-09-11 17:18:44 (UTC)

0112 am

wednesday morning.

some stupid palestine crashed some planes into new york
buildings.. devastating yeah.. i fear world war 3. just now
i felt so alone. damnit. i dont want to die. im scared. i
called my dad.. everyone was sleeping.. i said i was scared
and i couldnt go to sleep.. i think he was shocked.. im 16
and im callin my dad up in de middle of de nite sayin i
cant sleep.. sayin im scared the world is goin to war..
sayin im lonely. to my dad.

i dontnoe.. i thought i could seek counsel from frens
online.. man..what i got was shit. what is wrong with
syikin? why was she condemning me?

"im so sick of u being so righteous. so sick of u sounding
religous when taht same mouth accepts lesbianism"

uh. where dat come from? for her information she was de one
goin wowee de jihad is so well planned its so cool poeple
are dying but its gods will.. when they die they'd go to
heaven.. wow. dis is so cool. those were her exact words.

i only stated the fact that a jihad was a holy war lead by
prophets in cases where muslim were disallowed from
embracing their faith. here i dont think so. is merely
politics between de us and some countries.

"oh, you dont get it nis. i want islam to be victorious.
let them lead de islam way"

er hello. im not pious but i do noe that we are taught not
to take revenge and we are taught let god deal with people
who provoke us and not take actions of our own hands.. in
dis here, killing innocent lives.. what for? to prove that
theyre mighty.. one hand holding a blood stained gun after
shooting a young boy on way back from school, the other
hand punching in the sky saying GOd is mighty?? im sorry.
i dont think so...

man. avalanche.
im invisible to boot.
syikins condemning me. condemned me on main. to de
amusement of everyone else. no one was der to stand up for
me. im not de only unstraight arnd.. why do i always get
picked on? why fuck damnit. it hurts. not now. not whne im
invisible to people..

dont say tit for tat.
think back on time coz time leaves behind something calls
past. history. and im not lookin up on de past.

god, please dont let there be war. please. please.
emotional and mental war is enough ...
i dont want to fight on two front when im a lone soldier on
de one im battling for.. and it looks like i have to
surrender defeat.. for im thin air.

-forget lilith. she never existed.


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