godzgift2guys66

you think you know,... but you have no i
2003-01-16 01:12:30 (UTC)

mom......

my mom...... my mom and i got in a fight the other nite
because she thinks im selfish cuz i dont want to live
here. god she makes me sooo mad she refuses to see my side
of things and its annoying. She seems to only want to see
the bad about me and not acknowledge that i do have good
thigns i do. Like according to her i only want to move
out of here cuz i dont get enough freedom and i dont get to
go out everynight with whoever i want until whenevr i want
as often as i want and thats not it. it's that i hate being
here. i hate living and feeling hated by the people i live
with.i dont like the hostility its turning me into a bad
person. as Tony says( my moms friend whos fatherly to me)
only you can change urself. well maybe i am the one turning
muhself bad but im jsut adapting to my surroundgs i have
been around for like 6 years now. i used to be nicer n
more caring then i got even nicer wehn i saw how it was to be
treated bad n now i am just a bitter person i guess or
atleast i perceive myself as that.no faith in yourself n
no self confidence isnt good for the mind n soul. i told my
mom that i cant wait until the WOUNDERFUL day when i get
to move away from here n never look back.its not worth
coming back to and i wont. i soudsn so stupid n i guess
thats what my mom sees but all well.we also faught about
the fact that i was gunna get another D in chem n she
thinks i slack off n dont try but i mean honestly my one
goal is to get out of here as soon as possible n my way to
do that is get good grades so i can get scholarships( so i
dont have to owe mom or brian anything in life) n go to
college n make summin of muhself. so if thats my only way
to do the one thing i want most in life y would i slack off n
do bad knowingly n risk not gettin what i wish for so
badly? im not that stupid! its just summin i cant do. i
guess since we fought shes tryin to be all nice n shit like
usual n try n make up for it at the moment but i hate that,
u cant just pretned that nuttin happend thats all she does
and i hate it there are problems shes not wiling to fix or
focus on cuz it will mess up her perfect image of her
perfect lil family she so badly wants.i wish shed just try
n fix em instead of going off and telling tony how im
being"wild n crazy n im rebeling" i,. cuz then he imed me
and i accidently went off on him cuz he only knows my moms
side of her stupid story n i havet o defend myself like
always.ERRRRRRRR!!!!!whatever i guess i give up n ill just
wait until i can leave no more complanin. buti feel better
i got it out
ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need muh happiness!


TAAAAAAAAATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!




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