A New Hope
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2003-01-15 23:12:58 (UTC)

The Empire Strikes Back

Or so it appears. I'm a very confused little boy. Little
boy. Most people who read this will have no clue, what
significance those words hold to my pain. I do love Rachel.
I always will, but it's like she has this alter-ego, that
comes out just to be a bitch whenever I get too close to my

Do I risk it? Should I brave the Rachel again? I do want to
be friends, at the least. But, it doesn't seem fair on
Brandall, because, she loves me. She always will, and I
know that. But.. is it just me asking to be hurt by
Rachel's alter-ego again? Is the bint (as I have dubbed her
other personality) just using Rachel to lure me in, to hurt
me again?

Rachel, I would take no offence by me calling you the bint,
as it's not you I am calling the bint. Rachel, is the
sweetest, most innocent, adorable, lovable thing. Then, the
bint, who walks around in her body, takes over. Rachel, my
Rach is too sweet, and so is defencless against the bint.
The bint is nasty to me, and then super-ultra-nice to all
my friends. Making them think, I must be insane, and, thus,
turning them against me.

I went through a stage of insanity, it was withdrawal from
Rachel. It did nothing for me. I know I'll always love her.
I'll always be in love with her. Whether that's the best
thing for me, I have no idea.

Anways... what I'm asking, is... do I try the friend thing
again? Last time it cocked up big time, remember? That was
about.. 3-4 days ago, you must still remember. It failed
miserably, with her biting my head off.
I love her too much, not to try again.

I would apreciate your opinions though. Mike's, Hannah's...
Especially Rachel's.


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