my life, my love and my happiness?
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2003-01-15 22:22:22 (UTC)

they are going out hahah that is funny LIKE WHOA

ok so yeah i wanted to die still when i goit up this
morning and i didnt even get dressed for school. i git up
and talked to my mom about the whild depression pill thing
and i guess she is going ot make ma an appt at the
docters. so yeah i stayed in my clothes that i slept in
and put some make up on so i didnt look like i was dieing
and threw on a beeni and offi went. jason made me laugh on
the way to school which cheered me up a little untill i
got to school and realized i couldent talk to my best
friend but it was ok. i walked around with jen b/f math
and yeah..... then i went to math and took a test and then
went down to the nurse for the rest of the block to sleep.
and then i woke up and went to ais.....did some homework
and i skipped gym once again and liz helped me with my
math in the library. then i went to lunch and ate mad
tacos and found out that mike and kayla wer going out and
yeah that is kinda fucked up..... and mike asked me if jay
and me were together and i was eating so i wasent looking
at him when i said no so he thinks we are and he prolly
went back and said something to kayla but we arnt together
so....... yeah...... then i went to govt and worked on the
power point project with kate and talked to jessie. andi
was late to food and nutrion and they all pissed me off
when i walked in the door but then mr.d made me laugh so
it was all better we cooked out soup some more and cut up
shit to put in it i smell like a big fried veg. lol it is
nasty. i am nasy i need to take a shower so bad i didnt
feel like taking one last night b/c of everything that was
going on. so yeah i knowi am a scum i care no!!
haha so liz road the bus home and jay had a head ache so
he didnt talk much and me and liz were talking about
spring break.... now we are sitting here and doing
homework and i am suposed to be looking up stuff about
9/11 but i got destracted. like always. ok so i am gonnna
go. bbl
listing to: liz talking to me

i was doing ok then liz and mark left and i am sad again. i got in
the shower and i feel so much cleaner but not better. i always get
thinking of stuff when i am in the shower and all i do and want to
do is cry. it is so shitty feeling like this. i am gonna get off and
call maria so we can talk.....i hope it goed good i am kinda
derading it. wish me luck!
listing to: my heart pounding

ok so me and maria talked. everything is ok i guess. we were talking
for like 45 min like normal so..... it is good. that really made my
night. i am so glad she isnt mad anymore. i really want him to read
what i wrote the other day and i really have feeling that he isnt
going to unless i say something about it. ughhhh i hate being in
theses situations.i dont know what to say to him. she just keeps
hurting him more and more. i am so hungery i think i am gonna go get
something to eat and through in some laudry so i will be back.
watching:the creek


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ok you just need to give up and let him go. you make his life a
little ..... no alot worse everyday! so just fucking lay off OK.
ovbiously you didnt care all that much about him if you are with
some one else right now!!!!! ok now that i got that out.....
i am so bored i think i might go to bed. i dont know..... nothing is
on tv and there is no one on to talk to so i said what am i gonna
do for a while?....... i think i sit here and play with my self!!!!
right maria..... lol i love sublime they make me happy!!!so dose
black sabbith but ok i am gonna get going and sweet dreams i hope....
watching : dark angel

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