Rasta Vaga

Sanitarium
2003-01-15 05:15:50 (UTC)

Deep Thoughts

Today after work has been nothing but deep self
thought. Even though I had to leave and go to the studio in
the evening. I just couldn't keep myself from looking back
on stuff and looking towards the future. This all started
last night when I was in bed. Something made me think of my
exfiancee Robyn, and why I left her. I asked my self why
are you down here and why did you leave her. Casue I was
having a little self doubt. I just had to run it through my
mind on what I was going through. Don't get me wrong she was
a great person.....for someone else. for the longest time I
thought it was me. I tried to deny my true feelings becasue
I didn't want to hurt her, but instead I blew up in one huge
ball of emotion and destroyed her. Do I think it was bad
for me to move down here to start new. Not any more. I
needed a new begining. I can say this starting out new like
I did was stuff and still is. I'm glad that I am rid of the
old me. The old me was a front for my true self I just
never let him out. Now if you know me what you see is what
you get. This is where I need to be. this is where I
belong. I have always dreamed of being down here and here I
am. I wish I didn't have to do what I did to get here but I
had to do something for me for a change. I'm here for me.
I just hope to find someone out there that will take me for
me. but untill then I will just keep on taking it one day at
a time and living it to the most.




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