Digital Hippy

One Thing 'Bout Music When It Hits Y
2003-01-15 05:00:40 (UTC)

time goes by so slowly and time can do so much

its a few rare times when the stars align perfectly, where
everything falls into place.... where everybody clicks and
where routines are formed, but not monotonous routine.
Instead a routine where doing what you want to do and
being who you want to be with happens to be the same
people around the same time doing the same types of
things. These phases of perfection have been haunting me
over my winter break. I miss them. It makes me really
look at the sky and wonder when the stars will allign
again. When will everything seem perfect??? When will
friends be around, the same friends that i feel like i can
count on for everything??? I miss the phases.
The first real phase i recall is when i started
partying. it was andrew, august and i. we were
inseperable. we went to the beach and parties all over
the place. jake was sort of a part of this click too. we
had the greatest time. We were always sort of a click up
until senior year when jake and i became like best friends
and andrew got mad at me and august went on her quest to
become one of them... popular and accepted. it worked.
shes back now though and im glad.
then i started dating chris and he was thrown into
the mix and we lost andrew to maia a little bit but he was
still around generally when she was not. he never saw
anything wrong with this though. heather got added a bit
too and we all had a great time.
chris and i broke up, and maurese came back for the
first time. for extenuating circumstances heather was
discharged from the group at this point and the weekend
warriors became maurese, august, andrew and i. this began
the first real clique. every weekend we would go to
motion on friday night, everybody would come back to my
house and spend the night. the next day we would preform
a saturday activity then hang out around my way saturday
ngiht. sunday would be go home day and we would count the
days down till we could do it again. this began the auto
show, home show, monster truck pull, drunken night tubing,
mutter museum etc. ramen was the food of choice, and
zest diner was the hot spot. travis came and went, kathie
came and went but two points of the weekend warriors were
stable, maurese and lauren. we were partners in crime,
together we were unstopable and apart we just were not
complete. During this phase drug use was light if any...
we were eachothers drug and insanity was our motto and we
lived by it. It was great. We inherited Krissy and Eric
and around that time, we became the tweekend warriors
based on my desire to try meth. every second maurese was
not with me, i missed him. he was the best friend i have
had to this point in my life. he always listened and
called me when he had to talk. The world is still
turning, but something just isnt right.
The next real phase i recall began after my birthday.
Krissy had nowhere to go so i introduced her to glenn and
she eneded up living there. they were great together and
eventually krissy was invited to stay. Casey Frantz lived
there too. We had the best time playing frizbee in the
rain and shrooming and going to motion and undergrounds
and just hanging out talking and laughing. During this
phase drug use increased. Pain killers and pot with some
uppers which became a more often occurance when i met and
started to like Jason. This phase was one where i learned
a lot about myself. Eventually that ended when caseys
terrets got out of control, krissy got prego and glenn
went emo party kid.
Next phase was summer phase... the beach house
randition. I hung out with Jason who i met through glenn
living @ caseys, krissy, worked with casey which was a
trip in and of itself, but the main point was i had a
great time with my friends both from phase one and phase
two. liam, lisa, nichole, david, dana and a few other
people were added to the summer phase though.
there is a little stint of back to school phase where
jeanie, anthony, lisa, chiara, renee, ian, liam, jason,
maurese, dan and i all hung out together. maurese
couldn't make it a lot cuz he was in jersey, but when we
were all together, tina was most likely there and thats
when problems started to arise.
i've always heard people say that tina is a bitch and
one you snort, things get fucked up. i pledged to myself
that things would be different and that i will always
care. i snorted. nothing was the same. i lost a certain
range of my voice that i kinda liked. i lost a lot of my
patience. i lost some weight (yay) which i have since
regained (awww), and i lost a lot of my friends, some who
i don't think will ever look at me the same way. My
perspective on the world has changed, and i don't think it
is for the better from tina. I wished her a fond farewell
and i will not touch her again. I went 2 monthes before i
slipped, i realized what i did, and sold the rest, and i
am now clean again. Aderal forever. Meth kills. Maybe
it doesn't kill people, but it killed some of the best
times i have ever had.
Now i sit around kinda missing that burn and that drip
and the energy to wash and vaacum my car out instead of
eat lunch at school. I look at the stars just hoping that
maybe the stars will align again and one of those phases
will recreate bringing me a little intimate group of
friends... the weekend warriors, the tweekend warriors,
the drunken night tubers... i don't care. i just want to
be me and when i can i will.
Its not like i am a drip in life though. Lately i
have achieved a 3.39gpa @ college my first semester, and i
got this Y100 internship that i was quite nervous about.
I think the stars may be aligning again.
farewell and goodnight
Lauren


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