StarGirl04

Directionless Hurricane
2003-01-15 01:46:07 (UTC)

wow i have been gone forever...

Listens to: "Come What May" by Ewan McGregor/Nicole Kidman

why do i always go back to people even after they have said
that i've lied and done everything wrong?!?! i just really
don't understand myself. so i just sit here and rant on
about how i hate myself for doing stupid things like this.
if you haven't figured it out already, i am trying to be
friends with daniel again. after fighting for about 4 hours
straight, we were finally at the point of not speaking
again and all i said before i was about to leave was that i
was sorry for lying about some things and that i wanted to
still try and be friends with him, eventhough i didn't
think that he would give it a chance because he hated me so
much. so i sent it and when i was about to tell joseph bai,
he sent a reply asking if i really meant it and if it would
be an open relationship with no lying and if anything was
bothering either one of us, we would speak up then. and i
agreed to it. so now we are trying to slowly forget
everything and make a new friendship that will hopefully
last. so of course i had been relaying all of what was
happening back to earl and at that point, it was about how
he was saying that he like to see me weak and that's where
he wanted me. well that of course didn't go over to well
with him. so he got really upset and started yelling about
how he was going to go and scream at daniel for treating me
that way. and so i tried to stop him because things were
getting better. they really were! but next thing you know,
he signs off his name and uses another one that i don't
know. and then all of the sudden i am getting IM's from
daniel saying that earl is saying that he is a fucking
asshole and that he hoped that he died. so i was telling
him to just ignore him and block him and just not to worry
about it anymore. so yea, i was not to happy with him at
the time, but i knew he only meant well, so it's fine now.
so yea, that was my lovely night. bai diary.

ps-to earl: i know that you feel bad about saying anything
and getting me upset, but just know that i'm not mad or
upset or anything anymore. love you lots. bai.




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