owlseyes

Unexpected Mysteries
2001-09-11 01:49:12 (UTC)

Something Wonderful

I have to got to say that I am happy after Saturday
afternoon to Sunday afternoon. Sarah and I went away from
home with Nick, it was so wonderful. I really loved it,
the evening was absolutely the greates.

Sarah and Nick went swimming at the hotel, and I just sat
and watched my baby and Nick, it was so wonderful seeing
them togather. The evening started out with us going
grocery shopping, it was wonderful, it was nothing like the
way derrick go shopping, we had fun. Nick Sarah and
myself, we flew around the grocery store with the cart,
picking up whatever we wanted. It was so amazing to me
because as we bought grocery, Sarah wanted something sweet,
and she wanted a cupcake and Nick said get whatever you
want, and Sarah said the cupcake is 79 cents, and he said
don't worry about the price. My head blew up and away, it
wasnt about him saying that, it was the fact, that we are
always on sometype of budget, always, no matter what. She
feel the pinch of us struggling and she always has because
we have not had money to spend...ever to just feel free to
get whatever we wanted. I felt good and I felt bad because
she sees what kind of live we are going to have togather,
totally fun times. Nick and Sarah went swimming, and Nick
and I sat around cuddling, it hasnt been the first time
she's seen us togather,and she's use to it.

She knows her dad is a dead beat, and she sees Nick for
what he is, someone kind and loving and understanding and
just a big kid as she is. One thing that happen, he was
putting her to sleep and Nick fixed the bed for her and
tucked her in. I began to start crying because I wasnt use
to seeing my little girl with such a smile of happiness,
even with her dad, it was so comforting to see. There goes
the tears again, I just wanted to jump for joy.

Then it was my turn, needless to say Sarah wouldnt go to
sleep so I could have my time, not until very late, and we
had so much fun, we talked and laughed, kiss and made love,
it was so much needed loving. You should of seen Nicks
face, full of joy love and excitement. He told me, it
doesnt matter wherever we are or what we are doing it
always feel so good, and I did agree. He said we deserve
to be together all of us. And it's going to happen soon,
just hold on, we will get through this, and I believe him.
I just have this stupid insecurity inside myself, that he
could do so much better, he had no kids, no baggage and why
does he want me? I told him that, and he said you make me
feel good, he said to me, as he looked me into my eyes.

Stasha I love you, and I want to be with you in the future,
we have so much to look forward to. He told me, I can't
wait until all of this bullshit is over with. Then we can
go home and relax and snuggle. Damn that man brings so
much joy to my heart. I love him. Why do I feel so
unworthy of him? Oh, I forgot, while we were in the hotel,
he and Sara we throwing grapes and having fun, and of
course I joined in also. I mean it was wonderful, then we
had breakfast at the hotel which was pretty good, then went
back upstairs to our room, and relaxed, go a late checkout
and was still late coming down to check out.




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