Lenore the fool

Steal this diary
2003-01-14 09:51:59 (UTC)

An explination.

If you have never been to college, had very odd friends,
or lived in Berkeley Santa Cruz or anywhere hippie-ish
just stop reading this entry now cause you won't really
understand and you'll be bored stupid.

Ever had to convince your friends that you didn't want to
take your shirt off even tho everyone else is doing it?
Did that tonight...I do it a lot of nights. I have my
reasons but i don't really want to explain them to my
friends without risking hurt feelings. I honestly don't
feel comfortable my friends with my shirt off...it's not
that they aren't cool people it's just...this will sound
stupid but i only share certain parts of myself with
certain people. And myself naked or in those similar
states are only left to those who i go out with
and this sounds super full of myself but i want that to be
special, like it's not something everyone gets to see all
the time. That's only for them because I deemed them
worthy. I also have not so great selfesteem about how i
look, i can't really fix that right now so i just try and
deal with it. I don't really want people to see me naked
cause then you can no longer hide all those flaws. You
can no longer pretend that you are beautiful. Wish people
would get that when i make a decision about something i
have a good reason or thought behind it, most of my
actions and decisions are never done idlely.


Lenore




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