Blue Castle reverie

My Saga
2001-09-10 19:20:55 (UTC)


What exactly is it, anyway? How do you define it? And why
is it so damn important when you're a teenager? The things
I see people do, sometimes even the things I do myself...
and what's the point? Shouldn't it be enough that I'm
smart and sexy and funny? But yet, for some reason, I
still find myself needing to be friends with the right
people, to wear the fashionable clothes, and hang out at
the cool places. I am one of those people who has a very
wide variety of friends. I know some really incredible,
strong, totally amazing people, yet because they
aren't "popular" I sometimes find myself ashamed to be with
them. Which makes me totally ashamed and disgusted with
myself... but for some reason the feeling keeps creeping
back. And I want to know why, why I would feel any
embarrasment to be seen with such remarkable person. And
then on the opposite end of the spectrum, I know other
people who nobody really likes, but because they have
somehow obtained that elusive quality that is popularity,
people treat them like royalty. I don't think that it any
damn fair that such incredible, kind, funny people have
been shunned all their lives, while other callous, shallow,
mundane people are exalted. Most of all, what I want to
know is -how did they convince me?