lynna4786

My Life- As Told By Me
2003-01-13 19:41:35 (UTC)

Scared

Have you ever been scared, like really scare, where you
get that sick feeling in your stomach. That's how i feel
right now. Part of it is the stress of exams but the other
part is the stress of being a freind. Yeah I know everyone
says that having freinds is the most beneficial thing in
life, and if you don't have freinds you don't have much.
and don't get me wrong... my freinds are awesome, I love
them soooo much. Which is sorta why I'm so worried. When
you love your freinds that much anytime they are hurt or
sad, or depressed, you are too. Thats what's wrong with me
right now... my freinds are hurt so I am too. Actually not
really freinds plural, it's one freind. One of my best
freinds. I'm so scared and hurt for him, I never thought I
could be this scared and hurt for another person, let me
tell you if you've never felt like that before, it's not
fun. but I guess it's the price you pay to be a real
freind. I hope he knows how much I love him. I truly want
him to just be happy and to know how much I care about
him. I don't think he really knows. But to tell him would
be hard, it would mean opening myself up way too much,
it's hard for me to do that. Opening mean trusting, and
trusting... well... it's not my favorite thing. Ive been
let down too many times to make it easy. Even the freinds
I expect to trust me, I have a hard time trusting.
Strange, what i ask for I can't give. But that's just how
i am... too many let downs, too much pain involved. So
back to that freind... I dunno... should I let him know
how i feel or should I just keep it to myself? tough
decision. We'll see how life goes.




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