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2001-09-10 13:37:49 (UTC)

Well, here it 'tis

Alright then. I am fairly glad that I have this online
journal because 1, my handwriting sucks, and 2, I won't
lose the damn thing. I am sitting in here, in a fairly
good mood for now, because I just skipped my anatomy
class. I took the equivalent course last year in high
school, and so for now, my attendance in an 8:30 class
seems unnecessary...and unwanted, because who wants to be
awake so early?
Anyway, I just read my friend, Justin's, journal that he
has at livejournal.com, and he talked about the movie "the
musketeer" which did not at all live up to my
expectations. Sure, the fight scenes were awesome and all,
but the plot and acting were so-so. And so, the movie did
not live up to my expectations. Now, instead of giving a
lengthy commentary on the movie like he did, I am going to
let it go and just say it wasn't great.:)
He also included in his journal a very long passage about
me. I know that he likes me, and we have talked about it
before, but i am either just too scared to get involved
with him right now, or I don't want that kind of
relationship with him. I can't tell, so I don't expect him
to be able to tell either. However, I do know that I don't
want a relationship with him, regardless because our
friendship is too valuable and rare to me to risk screwing
it up. Sure, we make great friends, but that doesn't mean
that a relationship would be easy. Right now there are no
obligations or strong feelings and such things. And I like
it that way. He just makes it so hard sometimes for me.
He always compliments me, with the occasional witty insult
thrown in to spice things up(just to joke around of course)
and he never seems to mind that I can get very bitter about
things. God, there are just some times that I want to hug
him and never let go, and just stay there until I die. To
know he cares about me as much as he does makes me feel
like somebody. But...whereas I think my feelings are just
friendly, I know that his are not...they are friendly,
don't get me wrong, but they aren't JUST friendly...there
is actual affection/attraction there on his part...ugh, I
don't know...