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2001-09-10 05:26:23 (UTC)

I can't do it anymore....

I cannot put up with this constant BULLSHIT! I am not
strong enought of a person to just sit there and be walked
all over day after day. Kalua is supposed to be my
boyfriend and he treats me like shit. Lately he has just
been a complete asshole to me and it is Sunday night now
and he has not called me at all the entire weekend. I am
not puttin up with this SHIT!! Me, Aubrey, Ashley, and
Logan were going to get Ice Cream and we were driving up
Poland and we saw Kalua drive past us and so we assumed
that he was going to our house so we turned and went down
Gowdy and we look left at David's house and he is parked
outside of his house and he is at his front foor. So we
back up and go back to our house so I could run in and get
a pacifier for Logan (actually, to wait and see whether
kalua would come over) and then when I was in the house,
Aubrey and Ashley saw him stop at the corner, see Aubrey's
car in the driveway and he turned and went up Gowdy. I m so
mad I want to cry. How can he fuckin do that? I don't
deserve this shit. I really don't. But the big thing here
is how I approach the situation. Do I be a big bitch and
yell at him and let him know how I feel?? Do I ignore him
and just not talk to him and let him get the hint that I am
mad?? Or do I act like nothing is wrong?? FUCK!! I don't
know what to do. I really don't want to ride with him in
the morning because Christine and Justin are both gonna be
in the car and they both probably know that Kalua has
ditched me the whole weekend and they are probably gonna
judge me on however I act. And no matter how I act,
Christine is probably gonna talk shit about me for it. FUCK
THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!! It seems like everytime I look
up, I have more bullshit to deal with. Why don't I just end
it all? Because this aint fuckin working.... All these
girls at school are like, "You are so lucky to go out with
Kalua!! He is so hot and sweet and blah blah blah." They
only say that because he is popular, but popularity aint
shit. I could fucking care less whether he is hot,
popular, has a nice Mustang or ANYTHING! If he's an
asshole, I will not put up with it. He has been mean
enough and has put me through enough shit. Pray that
everything goes well....