fancy

champagne supernova
2003-01-12 20:41:34 (UTC)

very long entry

i swear i just cant win right now. im trying ...i just cant
seem to get it right. i dont know what it is. but for some
reason i just cant seem to get it together latly. one of my
best friends is pissed at me..casue i "ditched her" ..and i
had no idea i even did it. i went to a barbeque yesterday
with diane frank and william and hada great time just
hangin out with friends.
what i didnt know is that it was going to come back
around and bite me in the ass. i made bobby feel weirded
out..becasue he knew about the hole frank thing last year
and a tad jealous casue my friends got to see me and he
didnt. and i felt terrible when he told me that he also
waited up till almost 3 in the morning to talk to me and i
didnt end up comming home till 1 in the morning..which is 4
his time so needless to say i didnt get to talk to him.
which is upsettting enough. so i made him uncomfortable..ok
theres strike one..
carrera is pissed at me now... casue i "ditched her" and
we had mentioned to each other that we were maybe going to
see each other.. but not for sure and when we say that we
normally dont end up seeing each other.so when i decided to
go yesterday with my friends..she didnt say anything ( i
was talking to her on the phone) she just said have a good
time ..buhbye...ok nothing else..
i get home and this morning my mom said to me "your
friend adam called last nite...he said you guys had plans
and that he was here form out of town..to be honest with
you lindsay jean he was very upset" ..so i blew him off too
with out even knowing it! ..so i go online to talk to bobby
and sure enough...the whole thing happened that wsw my
first strike..
so after i was upset that i had made boby upset...so i
called the other half of my brain...my sister..carrera..and
she tells me that she is pissed at me casue i ditched
her ..and how its ok tho..cause she'll give it bcak to
me..that my time is comming to be let down as well.and that
bobby has every right to be pissed at me cause i shouldnt
be going out with guys anyway.,,,excuse me .. but it was
always my understanding that bobby and i trust each other
and( and that we do...trust me...)and himand i have takled
about us having oppisite sex friends..and we are both fine
with it.. andif we didnt have that trust with one
another..we'd be in trouble. but yes...we love and trust
each other very veyr much..more and more evryday.and why in
gods name would my best friend not understand that?
beats me ..so shes mad..bobby and are are greatnow that
we got things cleared up...adams mad.. and it was all
because i went to a damn bbq..so what do i do ?? i cal
boby who is tired and stresed ..and workinghis butt off and
talked to him for 20 minutes until he gets to work..and he
tells me "baby i got to go" ..so we say love ya
goodbye...and i never hang up..i always wait for him to
hang up ...but he knew something was worng and called back
and said "you hung up"!!! u never hang up ur scaring me
whats wrong? ..and i stared crying..beause i just cant do
anything right !!!!! so being the great guy he is..(love u)
he starts singing "dont worry be happy" ..and it made me
laugh..but at the bottom of this hole deal..i miss bobby
the most . i cant stop..i just think about hi m24/7im so in
love with him. and i dont know what i would do with out
him,i just dont know.im sorry to all ive hurt for being
careless yesterday.
fancy