Traded your worth for these scars...
2001-09-10 02:59:37 (UTC)

There it goes...

Another visit to Fort Hill, yet again, over too soon.

Man, what an awesome weekend I had. Seriously, the best
weekend since well... camp! haha

I am so lucky. To have that camp, and those friends, those
people in my life. I'm actually kinda mad at myself for not
realizing earlier exactly HOW important they are to me. So
much time I wasted, clearly blind to the blessings I had in
front of me.

**Just a warning, this one is going to be LOOOOONG**

Friday - I leave home about 5:00 for camp. About an hour
and a half later, I'm on the home stretch to Fort
Hill. "Fort Hill - 15 miles" What a great sign:) So, here I
am, all singing and stuff.. so happy that not only am I
about to be at camp, but I actually got there all by
myself!! haha:) So, I turn onto Fort Hill Road and I see a
sign that says "Road Closed .93 miles" But, Fort Hill is 1
mile away? Could it? No, it can't be.. I mean, it's
probably blocked AFTER the road to camp. (loud buzzer
noise) I was wrong. Sure enough, I get to the road block
about 500 feet from camp. I am joined by Mike, Christy,
Mike, Ashley, Kammi, and some other woman. "Thank
Goodness", I think. I'm so glad they were there. I probably
would've turned around and gone home. So.. needless to say,
we finally figured out the detour and got to camp. Yay.

Ahh... it feels like coming home. Driving up to Fort Hill,
passing the basketball courts, the dinning hall, the flag
circle, the assembly hall, the concession stand, the
cabins.. all of it.. it's just so comforting. I feel safe
when I go there, like I'm with family.. and I really am.

I really feel like that place has made me who I am. Those
people have had such an influence on me. They make me feel so
good.. about myself and about... things. I dunno, it's
really hard to describe. I just feel myself when I'm there.
Those people love me, for who I am, and they do'nt judge..
and it's awesome. No one cares how pretty, or skinny, or
funny you are... all that matters is that we're all

I'm so proud of myself. I have changed so much, for the
better, in the past year... even in the past 4 months...
and I'm lovin it. I've really come outta my shell, and
finally realized that I don't have to be afraid to be
myself. I mean, even tho I'm a dork (haha), that's me.. and
people are gonna accept me for that. I've gotten to know so
many people this year.. I actually made an effort to get to
know people outside of my "circle" or whatever.. people
I've never really talked to before, I mean, I KNEW them,
but I never really knew them, ya know? Like, Mindy, Erin,
Mark, Matt E., and even people in my own congregation like
Ash F. Then, there's the people that I talked to a little
and hope to get to know them better in the future.. people like,
Joel, Jessica C., Shawna, Lyndsey, and Camber.. people like that.
It's just so awesome. I love making new friends. Old
friends are good too... but new friends are exciting:)

So.. more about the retreat. On Saturday we have your
typical morning things.. then we have class. Oh man.
Class.. was loooong. I was so tired, and I feel bad.. but
my eyes just would NOT stay open. Seriously, and I wasn't
the only one who felt that way. Kammi said she was glad
when we prayed cause it was an excuse to close her eyes..
haha.. I know that's terrible.. but it's true.

Supper.. what a RIP!! Ugh.. ya know what we had for
supper?? A baked potato, ONE baked potato. We were like "30
bucks for this?? Ridiculous." So.. in our fit of rage, me
and Erin decided to go into town and get some food. It was
sooo fun!!!! It was probably one of the best parts of the
retreat.. and we weren't even at camp..haha:) We talked
about everything... and we discovered that we have a lot in
common. She is so hilarious! I never knew. Shew.. she's
cool. But, darn it, we missed the "activity" for the evening...
shoot. I hate that. hehe

That night, me and Erin talked to Mark and Joel for a bit.
I talked to Joel about Harding and we were excited to find
out that both of us talk to Hank on a regular basis! haha:)
Joel.. now there's an odd character! haha.. just kidding.
He's cool. It's cool cause I never knew how outgoing he
was. He is pretty funny.. he's also a little scatter-
brained at times... but he's fun:) We could be friends. I
dig Jessica C. too.. she's probably the sweetest girl I've
ever met... no lie! haha:)

Me and Erin... we were rotten this weekend. haha..
seriously, it was so much fun tho. I can't really say all
of the thigns we did.. but trust me.. we were really makin
some ppl mad!:) I can't wait til I get my pics
developed...hahahahahaha!!:) Ahh.. Erin is gettin my

So.. all in all.. this weekend was awesome. I hated
leaving, but like every visit to Fort Hill.. it has to end
sometime. I'm not discouraged tho, cause I really have a
good feeling about this year.. and the friendships that I
have. For once, I actually feel like they're here to stay..
and it's a wonderful thing.

Sittin here, listening to my campfire tape.. I feel such
love. Not to sound corny or anything, but it is seriously a
feeling that cannot be put into words. Something that other
people who aren't christians could never understand. Like
the song says, "I'm so glad you're in my life."

I can't wait til Christmas...