KerouacFemme

Bitch In Seattle
2003-01-12 02:31:24 (UTC)

Not drunk....

I truly wish people would begin their diary entries with
things like :
Im drunk. fuck you, betty. I shuld kick her asss. fuck yah.

And, in light of that secret wish, I'll begin my entry
revealing the same.

An hour ago I took a type-release morphine pill and a
benzoate, something like Valium.. I forget what its
called. Either way... I suppose because its time
release, it has been very mellow and slowly coming
on... nothing like the oxycotin Jme and I took a while
back.. within ten minutes your mind was paralyzed as to
how to come up with any intelligent thought, if not just a
thought at all... I remembered what it was like as the
drugs started to hit (take effect)... the memories of our
nights with illegal depressants flooded back to me...
you remember past drug experiences best when under
the influence of a similar drug. yeahyeah
I remember back in the day when I thought that doing
depressants recreationally was the most retarded
concept. "why would anyone want to be tired?"
"chemical relaxation? whatever."

then I got it; my first recreational use of a depressant:
Oxy-Contin aka oxy, oxycotin

amazing.... paralyzing..
so yeah.. I took those, and went to buy a pair of pants
while my folks were at the grocery store... when my
uncle was done shopping we both headed home... we
were both "trippin'" as it were.. as if trippin could descrie
the calm and overwhelming beauty of this feeling... it
comes in softening waves of gentle ecstasy.
a wave, lush and delicate sleepiness with ecstatic
undertone is coming now
undulating inside my body, making me bend my
blissful spine in response to it...
I am drinking wine
echlon 2001 pinot noir
scarlet-maroon with clarity or some diving fount...
being like this (so magnified by the alcohol.. one glass)
is almost like being drunk, but with full mobile
capabilities and mental facilities are affected in a
different way. I wont slurr my speech, but I will talk
slowly, and a a little crazily.. giggly, too! which I had
forgotten...
so my uncle and I are on morphine and drinking.. itll be
a good night... Ill write more later I hope... I wish I could
calll jme

oh, right.. the mobility.... I can walk perfectly straight, but
it feels too silly to do that.. it feels soooo good to lay
back and take a deep breath.. or to lean against
something and feel it touch you... its like ecstasy only
calm and quiet
I am liking this a lot.
i am resting now
dk j j s s f e r gu fg dh lao e ghfb

ok.. shoudlg go now
this is good
Im glad Ive documented this
-KerouacFemme




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