chronicles for the clinicly insane
2003-01-12 02:31:18 (UTC)


I write this in a state that is just barely grasps the
tip of a rock. A big rock. A really really big rock.
Though what the rock is supposed to mean to me is well
beyond reach at this point. I'm sure that when I loose my
grip and plummet to some horrible end, that the definition
and import of the rock shall become painfully apparent.

I feel like im stuck in a situation but i dont know what it
is. Theres something missing, or maybe something thats
ending that im missing out on. Something that will be gone
soon and when it is I wont be able to get it back its like
this little warning in my head going off saying something
big is coming. Even though I cant say things are going
that badly. Everything is coming around, my mom and aunt
are on the upswing, im having more fun than usual, and Im
even doing slightly better in school. Its like when I dont
have any obstacles in my life to deal with my own head
gets in the way. I keep telling myself that everythings ok
now but part of me wont let go. I think that having my mom
in the hospital fucked me up a lot worse than I thought.

Thats all I have to say, or maybe its just all I want to
say for now.

Until next time truly yours in trust and through storm