humming bird

my F***ed up head
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2003-01-12 00:25:02 (UTC)

not junk

this right here, what ur about to read, is some crazy crazy shit. so
i come home from school right, i'm chillin doin some bullshit got
sick of it decided hey lets go online...so i go online it says i have
11 new emails- i think "great 11 more pieces of junk" well it was
only ten. one was from jason... and this is what it said

If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would videotape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I would spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
and certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget,
tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike.
And today may be the last chance you get
to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day
that you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
whisper in their ear,
tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear.
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"please forgive me," "thank you," or "it's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

I was going to give this to you but you and megan and nikki saw it at
my house and thought it would be wierd. Anyways, I read this poem
online and had to send it to you. I couldn't go any longer w/o you
knowing how I really feel, no matter how you feel about me. I still
want to be friends but the truth is I want you back! If not I can
deal but at least I tried and will never have any regrets, now I will
know for sure. call me, e-mail me back, or just don't say anything
and I'll understand, but I hope we can still be friends no matter
what happens. :)

yours to have,
Jason


well of course the moment i get this i freak out, i copied, pasted,
signed off printed, called meg and told her and i just like freaked
out. i called him and i told him i felt the same. we talked about it
and we're going back out. its been the best 5 days since then, i've
seen him everyday and i'm so happy when i'm with him, i can nver get
enough of him, like i want him to always be close to me, always be
touching me, always be with him, i'm afraid to let him go. i hate not
being with him. and thats not a good thing. i'm trying to keep myself
from getting so attached but i just cant help it with him. i'm trying
to keep it balanced between him and my friends but whenever im not
with him i want to be, but i will keep the balance. i've already been
put in a perfect situation where i could have cheated on him, and i
didnt.i'm just so scared still. i dont wanna get hurt again, not by
him, i wouldnt be able to take that, i cant do that again, not again,
ive already done it twice and it killed me, it broke me, it changed
me, in some ways for the better but not so much in other ways. i cant
figure out if i should tell him who else ive been with. it doesnt
seem like he is in a rush to tell me so he cant get mad at me for it
but im afraid he will. and i know what arguments he'll use against
me, he'll say that i dont ever have to see the others, he's hung out
with both of the other guys, he gets along with them... he'll use
something like that against me... and it isnt fair but i know me. ill
take it from him. we'll fight about it get over it and that'll be
that when the truth is if that happens i should just ditch him. but
whatev. but yeah im gonna go....ttyl


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