Sweet Child

Sweet Life
2001-09-10 00:16:02 (UTC)

Killing Myself

Just let me kill myself. Who would have known out of all
the things that have pushed me to do it, this would be the
one to push me to the end. If he only knew the things I
felt. If he only cared. How could he just deny the
happiness I could have provided? How could he just deny me?
I loved him so much. Why did he hurt me? Why did he choose
her? Why? Why? WHY?! I don't want any, no don't do it
replies. And for those of you who know me, don't even try
to get me help. You'll just push me even more. From day one
my life has been bad. Full of depression & hurt, pain &
sorrow. Every day of my life has been bad. Every day I am
hurt. I don't want to be hurt any more. For things to get
better they have to get worse. This is worse & soon it will
be better. Don't worry any of you who have ever known me,
your lives will be better without me. What have I done with
myself so far? Nothing. That's all it would have been. My
cuts have gotten deeper than before. Now they will to the
distance. I'm sorry for any of your time I have waisted.
Don't worry I won't be around to waste it anymore. For my
friends, you'll find new ones. Hopefully not like me. To my
family, I always loved you. To the people around me, the
wicked witch is dead. Vanessa, I'm sorry. I know you
though. I know you are strong, I know you will get through
this. You don't need my anymore. I love you butterfly.
Sierra, thank you for all you have done. Continue to be
strong. Remeber I love you. To the rest of the gang,
Raquel, Michelle, take care of yourselves. Love you too.
Sabrina, I want you to forget me & all the crap I put you
through. I'm sorry. Move on with your life. Better
yourself. I know you can. You can be on the top if you try.
Who knows you better? I do. I love you. Take care. Remeber
however that no matter what happens you can always get
through it. My friends, don't ever consider what I'm about
to do. You are all better than that. That's why I chose you
as friends. I love you. When you ask yourself why, answer
yourself because I was weak. No more will I be weak. Don't
answer anything more. You can have all my stuff. I don't
care. If it makes you feel better. Don't remember me. I'm
too miserable to be remembered. William, I'm sorry things
didn't work out. But then again I'm not. Don't kill
yourself because of this as you once said. You moved on
remember. So did I. Now my moving has to be put to an end.
I really did love you. At the time, so I thought. I guess
you'll never know, because I didn't. James, thank you for
being there for me when I needed you. This time all I
needed was a reason. Something I did not have. I'm sorry.
One day you will find some one better. Your life will
aswell be better without me. Mom, I love you so much. I'm
sorry. Just... I couldn't handle it anymore. I was too
weak. I'm sorry. Don't be sad. You are all better off
anyway. I love you. I love you. Grandma & grandpaMom I'm so
sorry to hurt you. I love you. I'm sorry for all of the
crap I put you through. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive
me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just was a brat. It's not
your fault. You were a graet mom. Continue to be that way
with Anthony. Good night mom. I'll see you soon. I love
you!!!