The void
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2003-01-10 22:20:47 (UTC)

wierd two days

la la la. well i didn't write anything yesterday because i
was busy crying my eyes out most of the boyfriends
has been kicked off aol for good so now i only have the
phone as a way to speak to him as he doesn't live near
me.damn it
i found out my so called 'friends' have been arranging to
go out to gigs and pubs and i didn't know about it. probabley better
that i didn't actually then it would remind me that i wouldn't be
able to go anyway because of my bloody overprotective parents. i
suppose it would have been nice to have been asked though.
to be completely honest that is the only thing that really gets to
me. my 'friends'(maybe not all of them)
like shit.
my mother still isn't talking to me properly after my
little revelation the other day.she will have to get used
to it though. because the hollyoaks babes calender is
staying put.
i saw the cutest goth girl ever today at college.
tall,slim,lip ring, black hair,god damn pretty.but chances
are she's not gay. oh well. not like i'd make anything of
my little crush anyway. i'm taken. i think i'll just talk
to her as a mate.
At long fucking last the snow is melting! hurrah!no more
snowball fights at college! peace.
i let myself down the other night.i sat and thought about
things too much and hurt myself again.i have to throw away
my sissors and all my saftey pins.why am i like this for
god sake?!
oh lord now i'm being harrassed over instant messages by a
12 year old girl.woe is me woe is me.i'm just ignoring her
now. nice aren't i? heehee.
whenever i'm asked 'how are you?' i never know what to say!
do i say " oh i'm fine thanks" when i'm clearly not or do i
be honest and say " well i feel like i should go out in a
car and drive myself into a nice hard brick wall!"

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