mel

anger!

anger, i wish it never existed. we would all save ourselves
a lot of pain, if we never felt it. but i think i'm doing
well. finally spoke to g 2 weeks ago. man he's a jerk, he
really messed with me, and then just what, expected me to
forget everything we had. but i know i already forgave him,
trusting him again is another story. maybe its best, cause
we're not talking now, so maybe thats for the best. i was
so good to him, why did he let "üs"get so far. why did i?
and now he's far away with no memories of me, free to move
on. everywhere i go here seems to be some sort of reminder
of him. but i think i'm doing well. getting by day by day.

got myself a second job, to help pay some expenses. i'm a
personal tutor. my student is kinda annoying, but hey its a
job. yesteray i ran a 5 k, with my friend karla. it was
for breast cancer. we had fun, cause we reached late,
(trafic) and had to catch up, but despite being heckled by
passers by, we had a ball, especially the couple of beers
we had after :).

today i want to go shopping. my mother thinks i spend money
irresponsibly. honestly i think i've only been doing this
since i last spoke to g, and he was such a jerk. i cheered
myself up with some new clothes etc. (okay maybe i had
enough, we'll see).

i also sold my car. since i was 17 i had that car, so many
memories. i cried, no doubt. but it was pretty old, and i
could not afford to maintain it anymore, with my loan for
school and all. i also thought about this for a while, and
decded i want to remove my tattoo. man, a lot of changes
are takng place in my life. maybe its all for the best. and
i can look foward to a new start. thats what i want anyway.