lildevil Maria

lildevil2njoy
2003-01-10 15:01:54 (UTC)

Whats going on

Ok so me and mom got into a huge fight for an hour
before school and it was crazy. She started off for
basically blaming me for everything that is goin wrong in
her life. Then she proceeded to ask me if i had anything to
say for myself. I figured she was being irrational and that
i would shut up and let her vent. Just ignore what she
says, but then she started throwing things and getting
worse so i laid it out. I told her i cant do f*ckin
everything and i am trying hard to make her happy but i
have a million other things that have to be taken care of.
Then she finally let me go take a shower and once i was in
the shower i just started crying. I couldnt even get
through washing my hair i was sobbing so hard. It felt good
though. And i guess outside the bathroom mom heard me and
came in the bathroom. She pulled open the shower and just
hugged me, she seen how red my face was and told me i need
to stop holding it in. She also said her and dad are
jealous of brian but they dont even know i dont spend
nearly enough time with him. He just got done obnoxiously
demanding that we spend more time together. Everyone tell
me the same thing and all i am aiming for is some damn time
alone.

It feels like i never have enough space and everytime i
talk to brian hes liek, "So whats up? why arent you
talking? whats going on?" like expecting me to always say
something witty and completley funny and interesting. I
feel like im under the microscope and i dont like it. So i
shut up. Even if i have something to say, why does he
demand i constanly entertain him? I wanted him to be
someone who let me feel relaxed around. Im sick of being
expected of.




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