champagne supernova
2003-01-10 06:26:09 (UTC)

the wax and mispoken tounge

"my stupid mouth has got me in trouble..and im never
speakin' up again never speakin' up never
speakin' up again..starting now"

well to be honest thats not really what i want to
do..never speak up again.. but i said something to bobby
tonite i shouldnt have ..and normally if we do that to each
other we say were sorry...kiss and move on type o'
thing..but tonite when we were talking i said something to
him about me being concerned about our spring break
schedules being differnt...and he said not to worry aboput
it worry about valentines day ... and i asked him if
he really thinks he can make it then..and he said "yes ..i
have the money if i wanted to but it right now" ..and i
said fibber..casue thats just something we say ...and he
said..."fibber?" ....
and then i typed in those 4 letters..
and this is how it went ..."liar?" ...and he then layed out
his budget to me..he has" 200$ and some odd dollars in the
bank , 50$ and like 180$ from uncashed checks..and 2 more
checks on the way." and i knew i had said something wrong
when he then told me "now call me a liar"...............
and he told me "if i wanted to i could buy it right
now,..if i had a credit card" ...and i honestly
truly..110% did not mean he was an actual liar.. i was
saying as a figure of speech sort of thing..and he was a
tad upset by me calling him that ..and i understand why he
would be ....i mean come on ... wouldnt u be a tad bit
cranky if you hjad been working 40 hour work weeks on top
of a school schedule, studying for finals..homework and a
girlfriend and mom ? and not to mention en ex friend of
mine who takes advantage of him every chance she gets..oh
but shell get what she sure of...but after all
that ..and then were so proud of yourself to had made that
money and then go and have your girlfriend call u
a "liar" ...
sometimes i swear i just dont think before i say things
and i know as hes reading this hes thiking.."god i didnt
think she'd make a big deal out of this" ..but it is a big
deal that i said that to him.i feel horrible . i cant stop
nagging myself on how i could be so mindless in saying that
to him. hes been busting his ass and what do i
him a liar...*slaps forehead* so sorry i said
that . i feel like i need to appreciate him more sort of
you know? i mean .. i dont know how to explain that .. but
i admire him so much i cant even explain it. he gives me my
motivation to get up in the morning.. he gives me my
motivation to want to succseed...i love him more then i can
ever tell anyone ..except for him. he means the world to
me. god i dont know what i would do with out him ......i'm
so sorry .
and i love him "oh so much"