Kat Eyes
2003-01-10 02:32:55 (UTC)

december 29, 2002

things are so hectic. damn holidays. and i'm so bored. i
actually miss school. i secretly think that that is the
plot behind our vacation. that the people at the school
board all sit down and go "ok, how long can we tourment
them this year?" and they give us a long vacation so that
we can suffer, and want to go back to school. and when we
finally go back then we all go "damn this sucks, wtf is
wrong with us?!" well, not too much is happening. sorry
that i dindt finish my entry the other day. blake called
while i was writting and said that i could come over. so i
did. it was great. we watched final destination, cruel
intentions (which was GREAT) and part of american beauty.
and some of the sugarcult dvd, and our favorite parts of
moulin rouge, another fantastic movie. we were also talking
to people online and playing cards. it was great. he seems
to think that i'm bored stiff when i go to his house. i
don't get why. hes got so much stuff to do. so everything
was going fine, and dad was parked out front so he cold
pick me up. blake walked me the whole 2 steps outside and
we were standing in front of his door. and it was akward
silence, and the voice in my head was screaming "KISS HIM".
so i did. i went in for the kill. and in my point of view,
it was a greta kiss. er...kisses. i kissed him 3 times. 2
or 3, but i'm pretty sure it was 3. first time, i kissed
him-he didnt kiss back b/c i caught him WAY oof guard.
second time he kissed back. and third time he didnt kiss
back. i stopped b/c obviously this was going no where. but
coming from me theywere great kisses. and he said something
along the lines of "i'm extremely bad at this" and i was
like "you're fine". i'm sure hes a great kisser, he just
doesn't want to risk being bad at it. he probably thinks
that hes bad and hes not willing to chance it and embarrass
himself. thats how i was. but with thanks to nick and
jordan kittleson, i think i've got enough kissing knowledge
under my belt. so it was really akwars, but it was going to
happen eventually. and he told jessie! i mean i have no
problems with jesie. shes great. and i'm trying to get used
to the fact that he confides in her. i guess its just wierd
to me, b/c i know he used to really really like her and i'm
afraid theres a chance i might be being used to create
jealousy with jessie. i dont know. but its bugging me that
as soon as something happens jessie knows. and jessie and i
were talking and she told me that she knew about the kiss.
and i was thinking "great-who else knows"but we were
talking about it and i guess it's all gravy. the first time
i find out that jessie knows something, i kind of freak but
then we talk about it and my confidence in her is renewed.
well i'm gonna go b/c grandma and grandpa just left and i
wanna get online. l8rz.