*MS JLYN*

*ALL CRIED OUT OVER U*
2001-09-08 21:47:52 (UTC)

9-8-01.......

Well, I know I haven't been making daily entries....that's
because of me always having to work. I've been thinking
about the situation I'm in right now. Okay, last nite I got
written up for some bullshit that I didn't even do. It
makes me mad because I know Tony(one of the managers) is
doing it out of spite. Then there's this stupid ass
WOMAN...let me repeat....WOMAN who is doing things out of
spite too. I hate it. I hate when grown ass people act like
little children. It makes me sick to my damn stomach.
Excuse my language, but it doesn't make any sense.
AHHHHHHHHH!!! Anyway, Leroy called me last nite, but I
missed the call. He talked to my mother for a few minutes.
It sure would have been nice to talk to him. Also, Roderick
came and saw me at work yesterday. We've been being really
sweet to each other lately. Like, I told him that I love
him, which I do because he is someone I can confide in.
Also, he has helped me a lot too. Well, he emailed me back
and at the end....well, here's the email:

That was real sweet of you to tell me you love me. You
just don't know
how much a nigga needed to hear that from someone who
really means it.
Anyway, i can feel you on the job thing...trust me, I been
there before.
You would not believe the bullshit that happened
yesterday. I lost my
cell phone, which of course had all of my numbers in it.
I'm not so mad
about losing the phone, it was just the information that it
possesed.
Oh well...I guess I have to charge it to the game. So, you
say you are
going to pay lil red a visit soon. I honestly don't know
when I'm going
although I finally have my money right, so when I'm going
is a question
that even I can't answer, but let me know when you're going
and
hopefully we can make arrangements. Well words are getting
short. I
have to go now...I like the quote by Alicia Keys. I wish
it was you who
loved me instead of the ones that I end up messing with.
Love ya!

Well, I think Roderick likes me. Okay, Eilene told me
that I have the power to do this, but I never thought I
did. If I say the right things or whatever then I can be on
someone's mind very easily. Okay okay...yes, I know
everyone has that ability, but I've always been kinda
scared to risk doing stuff so that could happen. She thinks
I should call Leroy so I can be on his mind. I've played
around with the thought of Roderick liking me, but I don't
think I could act on it. One reason being because him and
Leroy are like brothers. My heart is with Leroy and how I
treat other dudes when Leroy decides he wants to hang
out....wouldn't be right to do to Roderick. It would make
the whole situation weird. Roderick is a great person and I
could fall in love with him very easily...but I don't want
to. My love belongs to Leroy. I mean, I know I'm going to
have to fall in love with someone else, but I want it to be
someone who is in the distant...basically I don't want it
to be someone I already know or someone that Leroy knows.
It's crazy, but that's how it has to be. Well, I might go
out tonite and maybe I'll have more to write later....*J*