My Reality
Ad 2:
2003-01-09 05:50:49 (UTC)

My Future

Ok so i should know this one right...knowing what the
future holds for my own life is something i should at
least be able to guess at it and come close..ok so here is
my prediction for the up and coming events of my life, ok
maybe they are hopes or what i kinda feel could happen but
might not, oh hell, here it is....
1. My goal is to lose at least 40pounds in the next six
months. I just think i would feel so much better about
2. I want to date...ok ok slow not over josh by
any means, and my number one goal here is to date him but
i do feel that its going to be a while before i hear from
him, so i think that casually dating someone just so i
wont be lonely is ok right..i mean i know without a doubt
i dont want to get attached right now bc the thing with
josh was so hard on me, im pretty much uninterested in
committing to anyone else. im lonely as hell and have been
for a long time so i think just finding a good buddy to
hang out with is cool right, i mean i dont want to "date"
him but if we went out and kept each other company it
would be all good.
3. i predict that preston will try and talk to me, and
guess what, i going to be the ice cold uberbitch that i
have wanted to be to him for a long long time...kiss my
ass you fucking perv!
4. Andy, umm i see andy wanting much much more and me
still seeing him as a cousin...i wanna hang out with him a
lot he is like a best friend but thats is...just doesnt do
it for me...i hope i dont break his heart.
5. umm school...i suspect there will be a few arguments
and disagreements over that, with dad of course, about
money and what scared that things will get
screwed up, but we will see....i hpoe i get in and i can
afford it and an apartment and that i settle in easily.
6. josh, ok so here i am again, umm yeah i would have to
say i have a small feeling we will talk again, im just not
sure how its gonna go, i mean i have this idea that he
will get in touch with me but itll be when he as a gf or
when he decides he is going to move to australia and
theres no chance for us...i dont know, it would be cool if
i moved to charlotte and he came home and decided to look
me up and missed me too much and rescued me from lonliness
in charlotte and we got together and he decided he would
bend over backwards to make me happy....
7. valentines day, i see big heartbreak, i see loneliness
and a longing for a big production of love from him that
just istn going to happen, it would be cool if he came up
to see me without me knowing adn swept me of my feet you
know?..oh well...just someone anyone remember me on
valentines day, pleeeeease!!!
8. my birthday...ok so get this the day josh ditches
me...well i was gonna ask him to come up for my birthday
that day but we didnt seem to get around to that the whole
breaking things off thing got in the way, so now i am
petrified the big 20 will be the big solo b day...i really
wish i could see would mean so much to me to have
him there i could show him off and enjoy our time and just
snuggle up to him like anormal couple...i love him
ok ok there is a lot more but ppl keep talking to me and
im tired...bed...NOW!!!